This is why you’re sad: Grey Poupon is trying to get Barack Obama to “pardon” all of his fellow dijon mustard lovers, explaining that “the right to choose condiments freely is quintessentially American and embodies the spirit of our democracy.” Ew. We know that some higher up is probably forcing brand manager Christie Crouch to milk Dijon-gate for all it’s worth, but bitch pleeze… [via Daily Intel]
We’re looking at you, Houston: Ryan Seacrest and Jamie Oliver will star in a new ABC reality show that’s all about giving fat cities healthy makeovers. Oh, and Seacrest was a childhood chunk: “As a kid I was chubby, and I’m a firm believer that the fuel we put into our body results in a healthy lifestyle. Jamie’s going to come over here, roll up his sleeves and use the resources of each town to help condition living habits to make it a better and healthier place.” [via THR]
That “stabbing” hangover headache: Sometimes, it’s not just a descriptive term, kids. “Massive alcohol intake usually resolves in a banal headache. We report a case of a patient presenting with acute alcohol intoxication in which the ensuing ‘hangover’ was due to a knife blade deeply retained in the brain parenchyma.” Nice mental image to file away for the future, no? [via The Morning News]
We really feel duped: We — and six million other Americans — want our faux grilled chicken, Oprah. Not some mailed coupon for a free Pepsi. Even if you have to foot the bill. Don’t let us down, or the crusty old Colonel gets it in the gizzard. [via Gawker]