Do you know a kid? Does that kid need a Halloween costume? Are you cool with casually exploiting said kid for your own trick-or-treat amusement? Take a break from the princess and superhero aisles at your local holiday superstore and consider these silly costumes that are meant to make grownups chuckle. True, these outfits might go right over the wearers’ kiddie heads, but who wouldn’t love finding a tiny Mr. T or a baby Bob Ross at their doorstep? We wish we could give these youngsters’ parents high fives. Enjoy some adorably mini versions of grown-up pop culture figures after the jump.
Kip, Napoleon Dynamite
If you have access to aviator eyeglasses, hair gel, and brown fabric for a mustache, there’s no reason why your kid shouldn’t be dressed like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite this Halloween. True, 2004’s Dynamite craze is long over, but go ahead and park your little Kip in front of a bus stop with a “Lafawnduh” sign anyway. The occasional adult passerby is bound to keel over with laughter. Bonus points if you teach the tyke his wedding song.
Bob Ross’s The Joy of Painting lasted from 1983 until his death in 1995. Kids born in 1995 are now sixteen, so it’s safe to say that most youngsters probably haven’t experienced the peaceful joy of a Bob Ross landscape how-to. Halloween’s a great time to teach your children how to properly paint evergreen trees, so throw some cheap wigs and beards on your trick-or-treaters and let ’em paint the town black and orange.
The cast of Jersey Shore
If you want to make sure your daughters and sons know that these are Halloween costumes rather than trendy, realistic wardrobe options, why not dress them up like the cast of Jersey Shore? This theme can even be zoologically educational — tell your little Snookis and Situations to name all the animals they can, add “grenade” or “launcher” after their favorite species, and enjoy as innovative, Jersey Shore-style insults ensue. But please, try not to spray tan your kids.
Alex, A Clockwork Orange
Do you worry that your child doesn’t drink enough milk? An Alex DeLarge Halloween costume could solve your problems. Tell the kid that a glass of the white stuff is vital to A Clockwork Orange‘s essence, and they’re bound to take a sip at some point in the evening. It’s also an adorably dapper little outfit, in a my-kid-is-dressed-like-a-Kubrickian-psychopath kind of way.
Nacho Libre, Nacho Libre
Here we find a Halloween champ channeling his inner Jack Black as Nacho Libre, Mexican wrestler extraordinaire. This DIY costume is ideal for littler tykes — it really brings out their Halloween candy-guaranteed thunder thighs. Take note: you can do no wrong with a baby mustache.
Mr. T/B. A. Baracus, The A-Team
Does your infant have a “bad attitude”? Or does he or she, perhaps, pity the fool? If so, you might consider finding a Sergeant Bosco Albert “Bad Attitude” Baracus costume this Halloween, because it sounds like your newly birthed babe wants to satiate an inner Mr. T that’s eager to kick some ass.
The Doctor, Doctor Who
One Reddit dad has been dressing his toddling daughter up in the many outfits of Doctor Who, and it’s pretty darn adorable. This is our favorite, but feel free to pick from the variety of options as modeled by this youngster and your kid could be the cutest trick-or-treating alien time traveler on the block. That is, unless you live on the same block as this little girl.
If your three-year-old has shown an affinity for dank house beats, why not make him or her a Deadmau5 mask for Halloween? Most trick-or-treaters might think it’s a glittery Mickey Mouse head with misshapen eyes, but your offspring is probably too cool for those kids, anyway. Watch through the two-minute mark for some killer dance moves.
Need a little “goo goo” in your Gaga? How about a “Baby Red Queen Bunting Costume” for $19.99? This newborn “little monster” will have your friends confused and amused as she crawls around your Halloween party. The costume comes with a veil and everything. Yikes.
After staring into this kid’s menacing eyes, we decided that we don’t actually advocate dressing your children like Jigsaw from Saw — we’d hate to run into this little guy on a sidewalk or in our nightmares. We do, however, hope that this kid has never seen the torture saga and just wanted to ride his cool red tricycle on Halloween. Should’ve gone with Bobby’s World instead, kid.
Well, this exists. For $29.99, this comfy cannabis could be yours to have, hold, and pass around the party. Might as well poke cheap fun at the prospect of your infants being tiny “potheads” a couple decades before it’s a real issue, eh?
Dressing your kid up like a famous New York museum doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll get into Harvard one day, but it will certainly make you look like a smarty pants.