We’ll hit you with the bad news first: Word on the street (actually our intern told us because he read it on Gawker) is that 30 Rock won’t be returning next fall with the rest of your favorite shows. It might come back in the winter. Or maybe in the spring. It all depends on how long it takes that new Joel McHale show (which we NOW HATE) to catch on. (Ben Silverman: Sleep with one eye open. We know you’re behind this.) Sigh. OK. If you’re like us, you’re rocking back and forth in your desk chair, trying to figure out how you’re ever going to be able to laugh again. Life sucks.
So there’s this… a list of everything Tracy Jordan said in Season Three with a promise from the blogger that he’ll do Seasons One and Two if it catches on. Some of our personal favorites include:
“White people stole jazz, rock and roll, Will Smith, AND heart disease. Now they think they can take my hard earned money.”
“[Crying] We’re not really best friends. We’re just good friends. I just want you to stop.”
“There he is. I owe you, Jackie D. When I’m on my deathbed frenching my wife, I will think of you.”
“I know. I also want to thank you for controlling yourself sexually, while we spent time together on this adventure.”
“There’s no link between diabetes and diet. That’s a white myth, Ken. Like Larry Bird or Colorado.”
Oh god. We can’t stop. Check out the list over on Unlikely Words now, and help us heal by listing your favorites in the comments. Note: The lack of context makes most of these 100 percent funnier.