10 Bicycles Not Built for You — Or Anyone, Really [NSFW]

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May is Bike Month here in New York City, and while we try to ride our bikes to work whenever the sun is shining (seriously, it’s the preferred mode of transportation for over half of the Flavorpill staff), there are a few designs we’d probably leave at home. It’s not that we don’t credit the creativity or innovations behind some of these ideas, but with bike theft at an all time high, we prefer to pedal under the radar. Well that, and we don’t like being laughed at. Think we’ve missed some wheels of note? Feel free to tip us off in the comments. 1. Because in the future, topless is more aerodynamic. [Via Just une illusion]

2.. Are lots of tiny wheels faster than one big wheel? Probably not, unless you’re a rollerblader. [Via Vintage Cannondale]

3. Ahh, the triangle — the perfect geometric shape, except perhaps here. [Via TreeHugger]

4. No, you’re not drunk. The designer of this bike on the other hand… [Via Fixed Gear Gallery]

5. Motorcycles take their cue from bicycles, but we’re not sure if the influence should go both ways. [Via Kurt C. Hoff]

6. Something seems to be missing from this bike. We’re not sure what it is. [Via Glenn O’Brien’s Style]

7. This bike cries out for a matador. [Via CalfeeDesign]

8. Because three riders are better than one, especially if you are close friends. Very close friends. [Via Geocities]

9. This bike allows you to travel back in time — to 1982, the year Tron premiered. [Via Jim Langley]

10. We’re not sure where we’d put our hands to control this rig, but at least we’d look fast doing it.