The Third Rail: Drinks for Getting (Hot) Sauced

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Sometimes going to a Mexican restaurant and ordering extra jalapenos with your burrito is not enough You don’t want some namby-pamby strawberry-flavored margarita. You want a drink that makes you feel the burn without any exercise at all. It’s times like these when you need to just throw some Tabasco in your glass and feel your esophagus go down in flames. After the jump, here are a few of the drinks that are keeping your gastroenterologist in Hush Puppies, in strict order of classiest to trashiest.

Classy: If you want to impress your date but still want to understand what inspired the Aztecs to engage in human sacrifice, I recommend you visit new tequila bar Mayahuel in Manhattan. Try their Slight Detour, a combo of jalapeno tequila, reposado tequila, and joven mezcal, with agave nectar and xocolatl mole bitters. You can also try making it at home — because who doesn’t keep three types of tequila in their medicine chest? — but good luck finding those mole bitters.

Working-Classy: After a long day at work, there’s not much better than a cold glass of beer. Unless you want something a little colder and a lot spicier. Then you need the Mexican Michelada, which takes your typical cerveza and adds the juice of one lemon, two dashes of Worcestershire sauce, a dash of soy, a dash of Tabasco, a dash of black pepper, and salt. Think of it as the responsible drinker’s Bloody Mary (which can also be made pretty hot).

Trashy: Let’s say you’re throwing a party for your uncle who may have killed your father and has now married your mother. I know, it sounds crazy, but bear with me. A word of advice: while you’re dueling don’t let your mother drink from your cup. Your uncle knows you suspect him of the murder, so he’s poisoned your drink. And what’s that in your cup? A Prairie Fire: Tequila and Tabasco in a shot glass. Plain, simple, deadly, and trashy. Just like that Jerry Springer episode where a guy’s uncle killed his father to marry his mother — and would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for that meddling ghost.