Beach Books We Wish Existed…

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In case you haven’t heard, it’s summer, which means it’s time for all of the “beach reads” to come out of hibernation. With lists of what you should and shouldn’t read out on the sands popping up everywhere (we even threw out some suggestions of our own), it was all the more funny when we ran across Steve Hely’s list of “eleven essential, imaginary beach reads for summer” from the June issue of The Believer. Find our favorite one, along with a Flavorpill addition to their roundup, after the jump.

Fibre Strands of Luxurious Abrasion by Simon Gaspeth Surfaces — cheap carpet, a linoleum countertop after bread has been sliced, wet Astroturf — are what interest Gaspeth, an essayist and lecturer in material culture at King’s College London. His deceptively simple argument, that every day our sense of touch is the most constantly challenged of the senses, is supported by pristine prose aimed at describing a sample of the tactile experiences felt on a single day. Through his BBC appearances, Gaspeth is well known to British readers, but for Americans unfamiliar with his work, a spoiler alert: he is blind.

OK, now it’s our turn.

The Meme Maker by Buzz Tweetsalot A linguist and social media expert, Tweetsalot set out to write a semi-autobiographical YA novel geared toward Generation Y. While the plotline of Meme is far from original, Internet addicts will feel right at home; each chapter spotlights a different online craze — for example: “De bzzz of de alrm wakez Jake wit a strt. He wishz de dae wuz alredy overz.” It’s hard to say if this new media approach will be the next big trend in literature; regardless, Tweetsalot’s dedication to his art has already inspired a handful of lesser imitators.

What do you think? Do you buy it? More importantly, would you buy it? Now, give us a sample of your own dream beach read in the comments!