Sarah Palin Enters Slutty Flight Attendant Training School

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Sarah Palin has, albeit unwittingly, honed what David Letterman is calling a “slutty flight attendant look.” This style — a blue suit jacket with a skirt and glasses — is, in addition to sharing a striking similarity with folks who serve you delicious orange juice from concentrate, the stuff of refined MILF-dom. Hence the “slutty flight attendant look.” And the Palin-inspired porn.

But instead of taking Letterman’s comments in stride, Palin has responded with a remarkably uninspired “pathetic.” In five short clips, past interviewees Crispin Glover, Joaquin Phoenix, Gene Simmons, Drew Barrymore, and Madonna show Palin the “appropriate response” to a host who has made a career of interviewing/mocking celebrities.

1. Judo kick Letterman in the face. The classic move was first employed by Crispin Glover circa 1987. Though he failed to follow through with the leg whack (narrowly missing Letterman), Palin could be the first to successfully complete it.

2. The silent treatment. Go on the show, grunt, scratch, and repeat.

3. Bring an explosive steamer appliance to the show. This actually happened. In the attempt to showcase his latest career endeavor, Richard Simmons brought his $55 dollar all-in-one steamer and attempted to cook salmon. Turns out the steamer is actually a Martha Stewart car bomb.

4. Be the slutty flight attendant. Or rather, a horny Drew Barrymore.

5. Take number 4 one step further. Hand him your underwear.