Sure, Phil Spector’s recently released mug shot (sans wig) is sort of scary, but, in the larger scheme, his visage isn’t really all that outrageous. After the three-ring-circus that was his conviction, he’s as much a TV villain as anything else, and if afternoon cartoons have taught us anything, it’s that all bad guys are alike. After the jump, we put Spector in his rightful place alongside 5 infamous evil-doers who look similar, all in a search for the perfect surrogate.
1. Wallace Shawn
No, he’s never made a wall of sound, but he did climb a cliff (albeit with Andre the Giant’s help). But is being a little dark enough to fly with Phil? Inconceivable!
He’s the sworn enemy of the Smurfs, he’s taken to fits of rage, and he’s just a little deranged. Only problem? His remaining hair is well-maintained and actually sort of stylish. He may hate those Smurfs, but his bumbling is just too lovable.
3. Mr. Burns
The resemblance is striking, and both have been dogged by the tag of called evil genius. But, while Burns’ rise mimics Spector’s own, he always manages to escape in the end. If only Spector had a Smithers.
4. The Cryptkeeper
The embodiment of an whimsical, unflinching evil, the Cryptkeeper certainly has a similar aesthetic. But, his soul is black, beyond redemption. Spector has performed inexcusable acts, but his career proves that he’s possessed with both good and evil
We have a winner! A pitiable being, Gollum is all the more tragic because he fell from grace. Even as his mind becomes maddened, he maintains a glint of tortured humanity, proving that a creature that has done evil deeds is still deserving of empathy.