Todd Wilkins — Cory Monteith
Who better to play Elizabeth’s tall, popular, handsome and frat-tastic basketball boyfriend than all-American Canadian Cory Monteith? He’s already got that wounded, confused thing going on, so he should be all set for handling Liz’s many dalliances. Supposedly he winds up with an alcohol problem. Sounds about right.
Bruce Patman — Joe Jonas
Rich Bruce Patman drives a black Porsche with a vanity plate that reads “1bruce1.” This is basically all you need to know about him. Suave, sexy, and basically a date-rapist, we’d like to see him played by the dark and mysterious (and real-life angelic) Joe Jonas. We think playing a bad boy would be good for him.
Enid Rollins — Anna Kendrick
Elizabeth’s primary yes-girl, Enid is and ex-problem child who has since cleaned up her act and become a wholesome, straitlaced nerd. Shy and loyal, she reveres Elizabeth and basically exists to be president of her fan club, but we think Anna Kendrick could bring some much needed overachiever irony to this role. After all, what else are brunettes good for?
Lila Fowler — Leighton Meester
The prototypical poor-little-rich girl, Lila is haughty, scheming, and hungry for attention, and Jessica Wakefield’s best frenemy. Sound like anyone else we know? That’s right, she’s basically the twin of Blair Waldorf. Lucky for us Leighton Meester sings now.
Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield — Taylor Swift
Oh, there’s nothing for it. It just has to be Taylor Swift to play the twins. She’s got the vocal chops for a musical, experience playing both the sweet and snobbish versions of herself, and those all-American good looks, dimples, and spun-sunshine hair perfect for a Sweet Valley girl. What else could you ask for?