2. Tina Fey photobombs Amy Poehler’s Best Actress in a Comedy Series shot.
3. Adam Levine is rendered mute with confusion in response to Jimmy Fallon’s inquiry about which of Mick Jagger’s moves particularly impresses him. This could have been scripted, but we tend to doubt it — we just don’t think Levine would be that believable of a straight man.
4. During Madonna’s acceptance speech — and don’t even get us started on that — the camera cuts to Elton John looking deeply unamused. Throughout the rest of the show, we see him making the best sour and incredulous faces at whoever’s onstage. Elton John’s stinkface wins the night!
5. Seth Rogen makes a (probably scripted) erection joke, and Kate Beckinsale can’t stop laughing and compose herself; camera cuts to Jodie Foster and her adorable, perhaps scandalized kids.
6. Michelle Williams wins for My Week with Marilyn and dedicates her victory to her daughter, in a speech so lovely and unaffected it brings tears to our eyes.
7. Jesse Tyler Ferguson photobombs Eric Stonestreet’s Best Supporting Actor nominee shot with a sign that says “whatever.”
8. Peter Dinklage tells viewers to Google Martin Henderson — a dwarf actor who played a goblin in a few Harry Potter movies and was left paralyzed after an assault last week.
9. “I think you love A Separation more than me.” — A Separation director Asghar Farhadi, in his Best Foreign Film acceptance speech
9. Octavia Spencer quotes MLK, is absolutely beside herself; Melissa McCarthy tears up.
10. That bilingual Modern Family acceptance speech.
11. Both of the gentlemen who win a Golden Globe for The Artist apologize for being French.
12. Drunk Meryl Streep strikes again! Sentence fragments, impassioned moments, heartfelt feminist shout outs, calling Harvey Weinstein “God,” blowing kisses, drifting offstage in the wrong direction. Like her greatest performances, Streep’s intoxicated acceptance speeches have it all.
13. The dog that stole The Artist also steals The Artist‘s Best Comedy or Musical acceptance speech.