Tip #1: Tweeze your monstrous eyebrows.
In She’s All That, Laney’s eyebrows are compared to those of Bert from Sesame Street. We can’t let that happen, so if your unibrow looks like it belongs on a Muppet, go ahead and cut that thing in half. Then ditch the falafel hat and find yourself a sassy red dress — you’ll be in the arms of your [Freddie] Prinze in no time!
Robin Williams, Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
Tip #2: Wet your face, coat it with Cool Whip, then rinse for a moisturized touch.
Robin Williams only dips his head in Cool Whip to conceal his man-face when he’s supposed to be Mrs. Doubtfire, but some Googling reveals that a Cool Whip mask can actually benefit the skin. Who knew? Also, if you’re looking to alter your entire face, choose plaster over latex — unless you’re going for the Funny Girl look.
Drew Barrymore, Never Been Kissed (1999)
Tip #3: Don’t dress like a poodle and/or wear white jeans, unless it’s 1983 or earlier.
A lot can be learned from Josie Grossie. Well — mostly from the way she’s insulted by her high school peers’ snide remarks. In response to Josie’s comment, “That’ll teach me to wear white jeans after Labor Day,” the popular Gibby Zerefski adds, “I don’t think you’re supposed to wear white jeans after 1983.” Toss out your white denim, folks! Gibby has spoken.
Lindsay Lohan, Mean Girls (2004)
Tip #4: Peppermint-scented foot cream can double as face cream.
In an attempt to sabotage Regina, Cady swaps the queen bee’s face moisturizer with foot cream. To Cady’s dismay, the prank just causes Regina to exude a lovely peppermint scent. If you want to go all out, feel free to only wear pink on Wednesdays, and only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays. Otherwise, you can’t sit with us.
Kristen Bell, You Again (2010)
Tip #5: Stay away from stringy bangs, be cautious with Woody Allen glasses.
Most of the beauty tips in You Again go without saying. If you have acne, use acne cream. If you have braces, wait ’em out. If glasses don’t suit your look, get contacts. By following these steps, you’ll eventually find yourself with an awesome career, and maybe even easy access to Hall & Oates! What more could a girl want?
Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman (1990)
Tip #1: “Stop fidgeting, get rid of your gum,” and eat pizza while you gussy up.
In order to be become a classy LA lady, multiple things must happen. First, find a rich “uncle.” Ditch your cheesy blonde wig. Then, go shopping and yell at some rude salespeople. Order pizza while you’re at it, then abandon your life as a streetwalker and live happily ever after. Got it? Good.
Anne Hathaway, The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Tip #7: If you’re looking to lose weight, buy some cubes of cheese.
One diet mentioned in The Devil Wears Prada entails munching on cubed cheese whenever hunger strikes. Of course, unlike Emily Blunt’s character, we’d recommend eating healthy meals along with that cubed cheese. Who can say no to cubed cheese?
Dustin Hoffman, Tootsie (1982)
Tip #8: Don’t wear a white dress to a casual dinner and beware of horizontal stripes.
In order to land an acting job on a soap opera, Dustin Hoffman’s Tootsie character impersonates a woman. He quickly develops a social life as said woman, and subsequently gives us some great tips on how to rock a female wardrobe. For example, white is apparently too dressy for casual meals, and be careful with horizontal stripes — they can make you look “hippy” and often cut awkwardly across the bust.
Olivia Newton-John, Grease (1978)
Tip #9: Perms are worth a shot.
It takes a special kind of girl to jive around a funhouse with Danny Zuko — one who uses words like “stud” and dresses like Catwoman. So, if you’re looking to make the transition from “good girl” to “badass,” follow Sandy’s lead and start with a perm. Before you know it, you’ll be chang chang chang-it-ty changing away in a flying car.
Brittany Murphy, Clueless (1995)
Tip #10: Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds the opposite sex of being naked, and then they think of sex.
Cher from Clueless is full of advice. Most is pretty silly and superficial, but hey, that’s why we love her. If you’re trying to attract someone, go ahead and trade your sweater for a tank top and see what happens. Cher’s orders.
Sandra Bullock, Miss Congeniality (2000)
Tip #11: Wear heels to perfect your posture.
Sandra Bullock’s Miss Congeniality character mostly hates the way she must act in order to appear as a Miss United States contestant, but she does admit that heels both help her posture and make her “very aware and proud of [her] breasts.” Need help correcting your shoulder-slump? Adding a few more pairs of heels to your wardrobe might just do the trick.
Patrick Dempsey, Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)
Tip #12: Don’t wear berets, rip off your sleeves, and leave your shirts untucked.
In Can’t Buy Me Love, Patrick Dempsey goes from “totally geek to totally chic” by following the above advice. It helps if you recruit the coolest girl in school to act like your girlfriend for a month, but we don’t all have $1,000 to spare like Dempsey’s character. So, start with the sleeves and see how it goes?
Anne Hathaway, The Princess Diaries (2001)
Tip #13: If your curly mane is prone to breaking brushes, have it chemically straightened. Also, see tip #1.
Anne Hathaway’s character in The Princess Diaries, Mia Thermopolis, undergoes a hefty makeover, altering everything from her looks to her mannerisms. As Mia’s classmates are sure to acknowledge, the biggest change in her appearance is her flowing hair. If curls are too hard to handle, follow Mia’s lead and have them straightened — just make sure the hairdresser doesn’t tell the media that you’re secretly a princess. It happens to the best of us.
Audrey Hepburn, My Fair Lady (1964)
Tip #14: Eat lots of chocolate.
Last but not least, we have a pioneer of the massive movie-character makeover — Eliza Doolittle. If you consider yourself “deliciously low” or “horribly dirty,” find a Henry Higgins to fix your speech and feed you chocolate. According to CNN, chocolate gives you moister, smoother, and less scaly skin. Although, if you look anything like Audrey Hepburn, you probably don’t need any beauty tips. Get out of here.