Our Fake New York Times Would Include the Arts

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There’s a faux version of the NEW YORK TIMES currently making the viral rounds faster than a Google-tracked case of the flu. According to Gawker, the indirect masterminds behind this vision of a liberal utopia are THE YES MEN — a group of activist pranksters known for their elaborate identity subterfuge. According to Gothamist, Times spokeswoman CATHERINE MATHIS is pissed and out for blood. We’d hate to be the copyright lawyer taking on that case — even if they can claim that it’s political commentary and not for financial gain.

Our only issue with this fake paper is the fact that it’s completely missing the Arts section of the NYT — which is obviously our favorite part. After the jump, the ten headlines that would figure into our utopia. Feel free to chime in with your own in the comments.

1. OBAMA FOLLOWS THROUGH ON CAMPAIGN PROMISE TO INCREASE NATIONAL ENDOWMENT FOR THE ARTS FUNDING

2. AMERICAN IDOL CANCELLED IN ITS 8TH SEASON

3. DAMIEN HIRST DONATES FORTUNE TO CHARITY, SAVES AFRICA

4. MARK MORRIS: “OK, YOU GOT ME, I’VE BEEN ON ACID FOR THE LAST DECADE.”

5. SNL RATINGS SOAR WITH MORE ETHNICALLY DIVERSE CAST

6. WORLD REJOICES AS KATY PERRY ANNOUNCES EARLY RETIREMENT

7. GAWKER MEDIA BUYS OUT CONDE NAST FOR 24 DOLLARS, SETS UP OFFICES IN CAFETERIA

8. FEMALE PLAYWRIGHTS DOMINATE BROADWAY, OFF-BROADWAY, OFF-OFF-BROADWAY

9. OPRAH’S BOOK CLUB DISBANDED AFTER HEATED TONI MORRISON DISCUSSION ENDS IN ONE AUDIENCE MEMBER’S DEATH

10. STARCHITECT RICHARD MEIER ANNOUNCES PLAN TO DESIGN LUXE APARTMENT BUILDING IN STATEN ISLAND, DUBS IT THE NEXT WILIAMSBURG