25 Gifts for Your Valentine That Don’t Suck

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For a holiday that’s purportedly all about love, Valentine’s Day is pretty divisive. You’ve got plenty of people who can’t stand the idea of buying a cheesy greeting card or a dramatically marked-up bouquet of flowers — which is totally understandable. But this archaic pagan ritual doesn’t have to be a total bummer. That’s why we’ve put together a shopping guide for February 14th that is chock full of trinkets that we’d be happy to give or receive anytime of the year. Yes, there is an overwhelming amount of the color red involved, but that kind of comes with the territory. Let us know in the comments which of these gifts you love!

Handmade Arrows by Fredericks & Mae, $90 from Partners & Spade

Cupid sold separately.

“We Are So Good Together” Letterpress Print by Dylan Fareed, $60 from 20×200

Sometimes the obvious needs stating.

Gnome Bottle Opener, $25 from A&G Merch

Look! It’s an adorable little drinking buddy for the both of you.

“Copenhagen” Headphones by Urbanista, $99 from A+R Store

Thanks to their unconventional square shape, these bright red headphones make quite the statement.

Heartbeats Necklace by Erica Weiner, $60

A heart charm that’s engraved with the lyrics from R Kelly’s “Ignition”? Swoon!

Mast Brothers 72% Dark Chocolate & Cocoa Nibs Bar, $10 from Dean & DeLuca

Is it just us, or is this the manliest bar of chocolate that you’ve ever seen?

The St Marks+First 85 Candle by Oak, $68

This candle’s inspirations include sweat, booze, and vintage clothing stores — touchstones of every healthy relationship.

Turntable Kitchen Pairings Box, $25 from Turntable Kitchen

It’s always a lot easier to convince someone to make you dinner if you throw in some great music.

Everyday Cognac Diamond Studs by Blanca Monros Gomez, $225 from Of a Kind

You’d have to be a staunch teetotaler to resist tiny diamond studs the color of Maker’s Mark.

The Original Scandinavian Koozie, $30 from Skuuzi

If you’re going to be holding hands later, this one is like a gift for you too.

John Derian “My Love” Tray, $66 from Ampersand

Placing this sweet tray on your beloved’s bedside table will ensure that you’re the first thing she thinks about each morning.

Brothel Tokens, $4 from Catbird

Note: We can’t be held responsible for what happens when you try to cash these in.

“John & Yoko” Print, $40 from The Wild Unknown

This pretty print delivers a clear message: So what if your friends don’t like me?

Literary Coaster Set, $20 from Out of Print

If the object of your affection is bookish and a bit OCD, then you really can’t go wrong with these coaster odes to the classics.

“Sorry We’re Closed” Eye Mask, $22 from MoMA Store

An easy way for you both to avoid those “I’m too tired” conversations.

Eiffel Tower Grater, $24 from Pylones

If you really want bonus points, be sure to pair this one with some cheese and a bottle of wine.

Rise and Sigh Pillowcase by Martina Capelan, €18

These cheeky pillowcases leave their mark on anyone who enters your bed.

Typestache Poster, $24 from Old Tom Foolery

The perfect option for the mustachioed typography geek in your life.

“Hi I’m French” Ring, $170 from Verameat

Because neither of you can afford a real French bulldog.

Field Notes Firespotter Edition: Set of 3, $10 from The Ghostly Store

These fire engine-red notebooks were made for jotting down sweet nothings.

Wipe T-Shirt, $89 from Generate

Madly in love with a four eyes? This “striped” tee might be the best gift you could buy them.

Macaron Studs by Shay Aaron Miniatures, $15 from Etsy

These sweet earrings playfully nod at the macaron trend that’s sweeping the foodie world. Feeling more savory? You could also opt for a hummus ring or a ham and cheese necklace.

Pac Man Ukulele, $600 from Etsy

Just in case you’re dating Zooey Deschanel — or someone who wishes she was Zooey Deschanel.

Vintage Amica Eyelux Camera Canvas Printed Pillow, $42 from Etsy

An affordable alternative to an actual fancy vintage camera.

Red Buffalo Plaid iPad2 Cover by The Good Flock, $59

Everyone knows the fastest way to Apple fans’ hearts is through their iPads.