It’s the day of the Superbowl, and millions of fans are waiting with great anticipation for “the greatest show on earth,” even though they’ll have to sit through at least an hour of sports to get to it. In case you haven’t heard, this year, after a series of mostly ho-hum post-Nipplegate classic rock performers, the NFL has asked the Queen of Pop to perform the halftime show, and supposedly it’s going to be a doozy. We know, we know, they say that every year. This time, Madonna has promised that viewers will be “knocked out of their seats from beginning to end,” but we’re thinking you might need a little help with that, so we present to you our patented 2012 Superbowl Halftime Show Drinking Game, for use this evening as you watch Madge knock it out of the park (or kick it under the table) — not to mention a bunch of football. Click through to find out the rules, and let us know what you think of the performance in the comments!
Take a drink whenever…
You mentally compare Madonna’s arms favorably to any of the players’.
Madonna shakes her pom poms. No, her literal pom poms. Well, it can be a judgement call.
A new guest comes on stage (she has 12 minutes, people).
There is an instance of black leather.
Anyone gets hoisted on a wire.
Do a shot if…
Madonna kisses M.I.A. or Nicki Minaj (or M.I.A and Nicki Minaj kiss each other).
Cee-Lo Green appears.
LMFAO shows up wearing anything that isn’t shiny. One shot per clothing item.
There are any Aerosmith-style technical issues.
Madonna shows up in anything other than fishnets or leather pants.
Finish your drink if…
There is any kind of triple-kiss situation.
Madonna, M.I.A and Nicki Minaj perform any kind of cheerleading feat. Like a pyramid.
Madonna has a wardrobe malfunction.
There is any actual voguing — on stage, that is, not in your living room.
Finish the bottle if…
100 drummers actually come down from the ceiling.
Madonna has an ironic wardrobe malfunction.
This is actually the “greatest show on earth.”