1. “Oregon woman obsessed with rabbits arrested again” [via BB] Why this ISN’T funny: “Officers said they had to break into the room Tuesday and found eight adults and half a dozen baby rabbits, one dead.” Why this IS funny: The word “again.” This actually happened once before. With 250 rabbits, no joke. She also really, really likes bugs bunny.
2. “PETA wishes Obama hadn’t swatted that fly” [via HR] Why this ISN’T funny: PETA cares more about saving flies than putting end to a crazy, rabbit-obsessed woman. Why this IS funny: They sent Obama a flycatcher.
3. “Woody Allen eyes Carla Bruni for film role” [via Reuters] Why this ISN’T funny: It’s just a fact. It happened. Woo. Why this IS funny: By “eyeing” Carla Bruni, they really mean, attempting to marry Carla Bruni, then divorcing her for their adopted child.
4. “North Korea plans to fire missile toward Hawaii” [via BB ] Why this ISN’T funny: Mass destruction via a long-range ballistic missile. And possibly causing WWIII. Why this IS funny: Crap! This is terrible. Nothing is funny about this. Why aren’t we freaking out yet??
5. “NYC Transit Seat Hogs Could Face Jail Time” [via WCBS] Why this ISN’T funny: Didn’t the punishment for this used to be a time out? Why this IS funny: Dress up like a hog, lay down on all the seats, grunt, squeal, poop, repeat. This would make a great reality TV show.