Countless films travel through various stages of development during any given year, and out of that lot, only a select few make it to the big screen — and then even fewer are actually worth watching. Sure, we understand why they’d make a BATMAN 3 or some weepy, Oscar-driven drama about transsexuals fighting in World War II, but then there are some films that you read about that just make you go hmmmm…
After the jump, we explore some of the lamest films that might be coming to a theatre near you much sooner than we’d like.
MONOPOLY: It was just announced this week that RIDLEY SCOTT (GLADIATOR) would be directing a feature film based on the popular board game Monopoly. Because our failing economy isn’t depressing enough, let’s watch a movie about people trying to bankrupt one another. Fun!
BEVERLY HILLS COP 4: In case you somehow missed the dreck that was BEVERLY HILLS COPS 3, a way-past-his-prime EDDIE MURPHY has teamed up with everyone’s most ridiculed director, BRETT RATNER, on yet another sequel to a franchise we were more than willing to forget about in the late ‘80s.
NOT ANOTHER NOT ANOTHER MOVIE: What happens when the spoof film has worn out its welcome? Well, you grab CHEVY CHASE and BURT REYNOLDS and make a movie that spoofs spoof flicks. Really? We’d rather watch Chase and Reynolds fight one another bare-chested to determine whose career turned out more pathetic.
OUJA BOARD: THE MOVIE: Remember that game where you and your friends sat around in a circle for hours while some “spirit from beyond the grave” mysteriously moved your hands across a board of letters and numbers? Yup, it’s becoming a movie. Those bored after 10 minutes will certainly welcome two hours worth of, “I swear I’m not moving it! Are you moving it? I’m not moving it! Who’s moving it?!”
THE SIMS: Another bogus way to capitalize on our control freak mentality. This time, Hollywood’s brilliant idea was to take a video game that essentially had no plot whatsoever and somehow, some way, transform it into a feature film. No thanks. Instead, we’ll take the expansion pack that doesn’t require us to leave the house and sit amongst a theater full of actual human beings.