Every Friday here at Flavorwire, we like to gather up the week’s new movie trailers, give them a look-see, and rank them from worst to best — while taking a guess or two about what they might tell us (or hide from us) about the movies they’re promoting. It’s a pretty light week, with only five new trailers to share, though they include new films from Toni Collette, Michael Sheen, Andy Serkis, and Twilight author Stephenie Meyer, as well as the David Cronenberg-Robert Pattinson collaboration that you never knew you wanted. Check ’em all out after the jump, and share your thoughts in the comments.
Piranha 3DD
With every passing trailer, poster, and announced release date, it is becoming more and more clear that yes, this is an actual movie that was written, financed, shot, and edited. Me, I’m still convinced it’s an elaborate prank by the Yes Men to see just how stupid American moviegoers are.
The Host
We’re a full year away from the release of this film adaptation of Stephenie Meyer’s book-that-isn’t-a-Twilight-book, so there’s not much to go on here: a concept, a few images, a glance at star Saoirse Ronan, and some voice over — including the line “there is no hunger,” which may or may not be a winking little jab at the other young adult book-turned-film series that’s rolling out, coincidentally enough, this very weekend! (Imagine that.) The audience for this is clearly Meyer fans, but the name we’re intrigued by is director Andrew Niccol; his last film, In Time, tanked, but this is the guy behind Gattaca, The Truman Show, and Lord of War, which may be enough to warrant a closer look at this one later. Like, a year from now.
Jesus Henry Christ
This comedy/drama (boasting a Julia Roberts executive producer credit) premiered nearly a full year ago at the 2011 Tribeca Film Festival, where reviews were utterly brutal. Hoping you’ve since forgotten, we now finally have a theatrical trailer, and this viewer can’t help but wonder what I’d think of it had I not read all those terrible reviews. Seen alone, it shows potential, with a good cast (seriously, anything with Toni Colette is fine with me) and a sharp look. But keeping in mind the complaints of overbearing tweeness and Wes Anderson envy, one can easily see, from these snippets, how the picture could be utterly unbearable. We’ll put this one right in the middle; after all, as we’ve learned this week, sometimes the critics are wrong.
Death of a Superhero
It seems like we’re getting a “tragically young person dealing with cancer” movie every week (in fact, hey, we just got one last week), but it must be said: this trailer got to us, just a little bit. Maybe it’s seeing the cute kid from Love Actually all stocking-capped out; maybe it’s seeing the actual personage of Andy Serkis instead of the fruits of his motion-captured labor. Whatever the case, it may be an over-told story, but we might have to go see it told again.
Cosmopolis
Over the past few years, David Cronenberg has seemingly reinvented himself as a filmmaker — leaving behind the weirdo overtones and hyper-kinetic style of his ’80s and ’90s efforts for a cooler, more mature storytelling approach with comparatively quiet and mature (yet riveting) films like A History of Violence, Eastern Promises, and A Dangerous Method. But any fears that “crazy Cronenberg” was gone for good should be calmed by this foreign teaser for his latest effort, which is fast, freaky, and fascinating. And by drafting a seemingly game Robert Pattinson for his leading man, Cronenberg may just have found a way to nab a big audience for this trippy effort.