You know what your life is missing? No, not a better job or a bigger apartment — it’s the adrenaline-pumping escape from flesh-eating monsters that brings meaning to the existence of people like Rick Grimes and Shaun of the Dead. Those guys are total go-getters! Sure, many of their friends and family members aren’t exactly living anymore, and they’ll never be safe from the relentless horde of horrifying creatures that want to eat them, but look at how fit and commanding they are! Inject a bit of their lives into yours by checking out some of these events and products that will help you capture the zombie apocalypse experience.
This informative preparation tool was actually put together by the CDC and will help you out in most emergency situations, not just the threat of the undead. Check out the link and see whether you’re ready to survive zombies (and hurricanes and power outages)!
Zombie doorstop, $19.99 at Amazon
So, your door always swings open? That’s not good — zombies love an open door! Keep them from thinking to enter your home with this, which looks like a little undead creature trying to crawl its way to freedom. A-door-able! (Okay, we’re sorry for that one. Please don’t feed us to the undead)
Man, if we had a nickel for every time we wished that our high school English class had more zombies in it — well, we’d definitely have enough to pay for a copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, now a cult classic. Jane Austen would be proud! Or horrified. Whichever.
Even comic books are getting into the “let’s put zombies into everything” craze, as evidenced by this series about the Avengers, the X-men, and all your favorite superheroes getting attacked by flesh-eating monsters. Spoiler alert! Everyone dies. But don’t worry, it’s comic books, so they don’t stay dead.
Are you one of those people who like to joke that the only reason they’d start running is if they were being chased? Well, now you can be with the Zombies, Run! app by Six to Start, which incorporates your iPhone’s GPS to create an immersive Pac-Man-like game in which you pick up objects as you run and have to speed up to avoid the zombie horde.
Have a bad imagination and don’t think visualizing zombies will help your running time improve? Then sign up for Run for Your Lives, a zombie-infested obstacle course that travels the United States. If you’re not much of a runner, you can always sign up to be a zombie instead!
If you live in or around Atlanta, Georgia, then you’re in for a special treat come Halloween — their obstacle course, which covers over 100,000 square feet, is one of the best, most immersive horror attractions around. Run from zombies! Shoot them with paintballs! All for only #30!
If you don’t live in the United States (or you’re just more into the shooting than you are the running), then check out Wish.co.uk’s zombie experiences! These British zombie experts train you to use an air rifle and then set you loose in a number of different situations, the “shopping mall” being the most expensive and the most elaborate.
Another one for the Brits, this interactive zombie survival story sets up camp in a new city every few months and turns the place into a survival scavenger hunt, in which you must run from location to location finding survivors. Once you make it to the survivor camp, you’re either welcomed or found to be infected, in which case you’re sent to makeup and turned into a member of the zombie horde! The game ends with a rockin’ zombie disco.
R/C Zombie,$24.99 at ThinkGeek
Of course, if the thought of all this running and shooting is exhausting to you, why not just get a remote-control zombie from ThinkGeek? You can definitely escape from that tiny thing! And so can your cat. Imagine the awesomely cute YouTube videos that will result from terrorizing your pets with this!