When you get beyond the cocktails and the costumes and the showy emotional breakdowns, what makes any given episode of Mad Men memorable is the dialogue. Matthew Weiner and his staff are particularly wonderful at crafting one-liners — funny quips, penetrating realizations, earth-shattering statements that cause time to stop and personalities to crumble. This season, we’re keeping track of which characters get each episode’s five best lines, assigning points to winners, and posting a cumulative leader board to determine Season 5′s pithiest mad man (or woman). The results of last night’s episode — which, if you ask us, was so cruel to Betty that we almost sympathize with her — are after the jump.
1. Jane: Have your lawyer tell my lawyer what time dinner is.
2. Roger: How Jewish are they: Fiddler on the Roof cast or audience?
3. Betty: I’m thankful that I have everything I want, and that no one has anything better.
4. Roger: When a man hates another man very, very much, sometimes he wants to know that something is his, even if in the end he has to give it up.
5. Pete: You know what, Howard, why don’t you spend Thanksgiving with her, and I’ll go to your house and screw your wife?
Season 5 scoreboard
Roger Sterling: 24 Megan Draper: 12 Don Draper: 10 Jane Sterling: 10 Pete Campbell: 8 Stan Rizzo: 7 Joan Harris: 6 Michael Ginsberg: 5 Bobby Draper: 5 Teenage Rolling Stones fan: 4 Pauline Francis: 4 Mona Sterling: 4 Beth Dawes: 4 Civil rights protester: 3 Katherine Olson: 3 Betty Francis: 3 Jenny Gunther: 2 Raymond Geiger: 2 Emile Calvet: 2 Lane Pryce: 1 Peggy Olson: 1