Things That Should Come With Insurance

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Turns out that the French are way ahead in vacationing technology: last week travel agencies Pierre et Vacances and FranceLoc announced that they’re offering insurance to customers, promising to reimburse them “if weather conditions don’t meet expectations.” They plan to use satellite photos to predict the weather, like weathermen, except there’s money on the line… so like gambling weathermen. Considering our luck with vacations — freak heat waves while snow skiing, hurricane force winds at the beach — we want in. And it got us thinking, if they are going to offer us money back on the weather, aren’t there other things we should be reimbursed for, too?

Waiting room insurance – $1 off your bill per minute your doctor/dentist/stylist keeps you waiting past your appoinment time.

MP3 download insurance – If the 30 second preview clip was the only 30 seconds worth listening to, refund.

Bathroom proximity insurance – If on an airplane, bus, etc. you get assigned a seat directly next to, in front of or behind the bathroom, you get an automatic fare-reduction for the psychological and nasal trauma involved.

First date insurance – If on the way to dinner your date mentions their passionate love of yarn, names for their future children, the raging rash on their left thigh, or that they are currently on an all macrobiotic freeze-dried kelp diet, you have the right to end the date right then, no questions asked.

Late night e-mail insurance – Gives you the right to automatically retract that dazed message you meant for your ex that actually ended up with your accountant.

So what kind of insurance are you dying to get your hands on?