Since we last checked in with Whip It, the Ellen Page roller derby romp, we’ve been dutifully trying to think up a really good roller derby name. We’re temporarily abandoning that pursuit to let you know that the trailer’s been released! Gawker says it does “not look promising,” but we think the exact opposite, and we’re going to take you through the whole clip and tell you why.
It’s true that some people think Ellen Page is so annoying that she shouldn’t be allowed to exist. f you’re one of them, we simply ask that you feast your eyes on this image. [Editor’s note: Or you could just rent Hard Candy . I’ll pay you if that doesn’t change the way you see her.] She is so adorable that we don’t even mind the weird double negative thing she’s doing where she’s playing a nerd, but she’s wearing “cool” nerd glasses and looks really good in them, even while grimacing. (Isn’t she channeling Tina Majorino in Napoleon Dynamite?)
And then there’s Jimmy Fallon! He’s in this! Like how he was randomly in Almost Famous, and doesn’t that brighten your day?
But we’re just warming up, because you know who else is in this? Drew Barrymore! And look, she hasn’t looked this fun and fancy free since she flashed Dave Letterman.
But Drew isn’t just in the movie; she directed it. When you first saw E.T. when you were little, did you ever think you’d see the day that she would direct a film? Steven Spielberg gets a little fatherly when he thinks about Drew, and we feel the same way. She is just someone we really, really like, which is very rare, especially in contrast to…
In contrast to Kristen Wiig. When we think of Kristen Wiig, it’s like there’s this little studio light that goes on in our head, but instead of saying “Applause!,” it says “Do Not Want.” We can’t explain it, life is weird that way. [Editor’s note: I completely disagree. This woman makes me laugh in spite of myself. Especially when she does Gilly.]
But K. Wiig’s not the only recognizeable name in the mix. There’s also Marcia Gay Harden and Daniel Stern, the latter of whom is better known to Gen-Yers as one half of Home Alone‘s The Leaky Bandits. In Whip It, he will be portraying the role, first perfected by J.K. Simmons, of loveable ol’ lug of a father to Ellen Page.
There’s also…Eve? Check out the rapper flashing the peace sign.
And then there’s the guy who we’ll assume is Ellen Page’s love interest. If Michael Cera is the Hollywood translation of “sensitive, somewhat effeminate guy,” then this guy is just something else altogether. The thing is, he looks like what sensitive, somewhat effeminate guys look like in real life, and we don’t want movie life to look that much like real life. Ellen Page is so cute, can’t they pair her with Robert Pattinson or some similar adonis? Why must Kristen Stewart have all the luck!?
So, all in all, a really interesting cast! And we hear there’s a plot and everything too. What do you think?