Our Orlando Bloom Robbery Conspiracy Theory


We won’t get into the delicious irony of someone robbing Orlando Bloom — an actor of questionable talent who made his name/fortune by playing a pirate. But we do think it’s funny that TMZ, who broke the story of the $500,000 jewelry heist, lists the following under related stories:

Yes, yes, we know that what they’re referring to is yet another jewelery heist, but how awesome would it be if Lindsay was the one behind this and TMZ’s web publishing software was what tipped off the authorities? As The Daily Beast notes, this is just one in a string of recent Hollywood robberies; other victims include Paris Hilton, Faith Hill, and Paramount Pictures head Sherry Lansing. So we’ve decided to figure out the connection…

Paramount Pictures released Elizabethtown, which starred Orlando Bloom. It also featured a cameo performance as from Paula Deen as Aunt Dora. Paula Deen was in a recent episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, as was Paris Hilton. Paris has a whole line of perfumes, and Faith Hill will launch her own celebrity fragrance in October.

See? It all fits together perfectly. In fact, someone should make it into a movie (we’re looking at you, Soderbergh).