No TV show says summer to us more than True Blood, its Southern Gothic atmosphere and pulpy pleasures providing the perfect complement to sweaty evenings spent drinking mint juleps at home after another exhausting day in the hot sun. But while we love the people — and supernatural creatures — of Bon Temps and want them to never, ever change, we’ve noticed over the years that Sookie, Bill, and co. have a tendency to annoy the crap out of us. So, in the spirit of good-natured complaining about a show that we actually adore, every week this season we’ll be shouting out the three characters who drove us craziest, and also anointing the episode’s single most campily awesome character. Find out who made us groan this time, when Tara went on a rampage and we learned how Eric turned Pam, below.
The Week’s Most Annoying Characters:
1. Arlene: OK, we feel for you Arlene. You’ve been spectacularly unlucky in love, and now Terry is disappearing with his army buddy and won’t tell you a thing. But we have watched you ask the same whiny questions for three straight weeks now, and we’re still not captivated by this story line. Oh, also? Leave Lafayette alone about Tara. It’s not like he doesn’t realize that turning her into a vampire has been an utter disaster.
2. Andy: The worst investigator in the history of law enforcement bursts into Merlotte’s to clumsily ask Sookie some angry questions about Debbie’s disappearance. But since she can read minds, she realizes that what’s really consuming his thoughts is the photo of his naked butt on Facebook. Meanwhile, perhaps their “we’re losers but we’ve got each other” chat was supposed to be sweet, but we cringed all the way through Andy’s attempt to ask Holly on another date. “If you want to take whatever this is to the next level…” Ugh.
3. Sookie: Yup, Ms. Stackhouse is now three for three on this list. In last night’s episode, she just didn’t seem to understand what was going on. Gee, I dunno, Sookie, why would your best friend who hates vampires still be pissed off at you for turning her into a vampire? Then, when she’s finally forced to confess to Alcide that she killed Debbie, she makes it all about her. “I need to know if you’re gonna tell anyone,” she pleads. Look, well know Debbie deserved to die. But when you’re dealing with the man who loved her, maybe you want to at least pretend to respect his grief?
The Week’s Most Awesome Character
Tara: First, let’s just say that there were plenty of contenders this week. Eric was excellent in the 1905 San Francisco flashback, when he saved the day by running a scarily debauched Bill and his maker, Lorena, out of Pam’s brothel. We also enjoyed Salome, with all her talk of “dangerous female sexuality” and comparisons between the human Bible and Us Weekly. But sooner or later, even though we originally didn’t want to see her back for this season, we were going to have to give it to Tara. She was the week’s most campily wonderful character by a long shot, downing True Blood after True Blood at Merlotte’s and then lashing out at Lafayette in the freezer. Yes, trying to commit suicide by tanning bed was pretty stupid, but on the whole, we’re enjoying her baby-vampire-on-a-rampage story line.
Image credits: Lacey Terrell/HBO