Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Zooey Deschanel’s Charms


We love Mediaite’s uncannily accurate guide to media muggles and their Harry Potter counterparts. Inspired by their wit, we decided to see where the characters in July’s other theatrical crowd pleaser, (500) Days of Summer, line up with those in the wizarding world. You might be surprised to see who we think is the indie film’s Voldemort (but you probably won’t be). And psst: we spoke with (500) Days director Marc Webb last week.

First things first: Tom Hansen is our Harry, an easy-to-like hero with tousled dark hair. Both guys are average, but winningly so. But c’mon, neither is really average. They also both have humble beginnings: Harry grew up in a cupboard under the stairs, while Tom hails from equally downtrodden New Jersey.

Best friend McKenzie? Such a Ron.

Tom’s other friend in the movie, Paul, is more of a side-friend, a Seamus Finnigan, if you will. Paul’s “thing,” really the only distinguishing characteristic about him other than his hair, is that he’s been in a relationship since 1997. Seamus’s thing is that he’s Irish.

Every Harry needs a precocious, wise-beyond-her-years Hermione, and Tom’s is his kid sister Rachel.

At one point in his quest to get over Summer, Tom goes out with another girl, Alison. Alison is our Lavender Brown, who goes out with Ron and not Harry, it’s true, but is also a totally annoying stand-in for the girl Tom/Ron really wants. (Does this mean Tom really wants his little sister? Er…no. Just go with us here.)

And then there’s Voldemort. The evil, callous, all-powerful dark lord…obviously, Summer is Voldemort. And wasn’t this whole post just an excuse to rant about her? Yes, it probably was. You’ve probably already read about the tyranny of Zooey Deschanel’s indie dream girl, so we’ll try not to rehash (but to be fair, some of us do really like her). Also, “Young Summer” is Tom Riddle.