No TV show says summer to us more than True Blood, its Southern Gothic atmosphere and pulpy pleasures providing the perfect complement to sweaty evenings spent drinking mint juleps at home after another exhausting day in the hot sun. But while we love the people — and supernatural creatures — of Bon Temps and want them to never, ever change, we’ve noticed over the years that Sookie, Bill, and co. have a tendency to annoy the crap out of us. So, in the spirit of good-natured complaining about a show that we actually adore, every week this season we’ll be shouting out the three characters who drove us craziest, and also anointing the episode’s single most campily awesome character. Find out who made us groan this time, when Bill and Eric failed at glamoring Sookie and Alcide before Russell Edgington’s capture took an unexpected turn, below.
The Week’s Most Annoying Characters
1. Bill: We didn’t think we could find the King of Louisiana more irritating, but then he became the underworld’s biggest kiss-up, prompting Eric to dub him “Boy Scout.” Yes, we know he wants to live (and probably still holds out some hope of winning back Sookie). With almost two centuries under his belt, though, it would be a hell of a lot less humiliating to stay true to his own beliefs than to run around telling Roman, “I love a good execution,” with a shit-eating grin on his face.
2. Luna: Seriously, Luna didn’t die and Sam’s well enough to save Andy? Last week we were sure this less-than-engrossing story line about those two and Marcus’ mother and Emma was coming to an end. But we should know by now that True Blood is never, ever done with any strand of plot, especially the boring ones.
3. Hoyt: For heaven’s sake, this guy! One minute he’s in the bathroom with Tara’s fangs in his neck, the next he’s making yet another totally pathetic appeal to Jessica (“You can feed on me 24/7”!), and then he’s allowing some other vampire dude to bring him to the brink of death. Even worse, he does it all in some of the worst Hot Topic baby goth attire we’ve ever seen.
The Week’s Most Awesome Character
Russell: What, you thought it would be that easy for the Authority to kill the world’s most powerful vampire libertine? Ha. Of course, although some blood was shed at the end of the episode, we know that no one on this show is ever dead until we see them melt into a pool of viscera, so perhaps we haven’t seen the last of Roman yet. Either way, Russell’s hyper-speed table-turning was pretty badass.