Read the Year’s Worst Opening Sentence


Get ready to groan: The winners of San Jose State University’s 2012 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest — an annual celebration of incredibly bad writing founded by the school’s English Department back in 1982 — have been announced, and out of all the entries, the following submission by Cathy Bryant of Manchester, England, took home top honors:

“As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting.”

Yowza. To peruse the equally stunning winners in genre-specific categories like science fiction, historical fiction, and romance, head over to the contest’s website now. [via Publishers Weekly]