The Winners of Our Heard in the Crowd Contest

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Congrats go out to the three winners of our Heard in the Crowd contest — we’re sure you’ll enjoy Judah Friedlander’s antics at the Bad Art Auction tonight at Le Poisson Rouge. Avant rockers Xiu Xiu will cap the affair with some good, if dissonant, art-rock noise.

Junior high kid walking by to his two friends: Yo, I heard for every 10 pounds you lose your dick gets one inch bigger. Kid 2: (pointing to Kid 3) So like Ronnie’s dick must be 20 inches or some sh*t. Kid 3: (looks down and sighs)

– Standing in line at a book signing on Smith Street

B&T looking guy to his friend: You’re pretty sexy for an accountant.

– Two guys at crowded show at Hiro Ballroom

Concession Worker to annoying customer: The other bathrooms are just downstairs. Annoying Customer: Downstairs? How do I get there? Do I just….go downstairs? Concession Worker: That would be the best way, yeah.

– Angelika Film Center