What Even Is This Alleged New Lady Gaga Song?

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According to NME, there is a new Lady Gaga song. According to Vulture, there is an alleged new Lady Gaga song. Because we like to give people the benefit of the doubt, we’re going to keep the “alleged” in there despite the fact that the track was posted by Gaga’s producer, DJ Whiteshadow and the vocals sound a whole lot like Mother Monster. If the song does turn out to be real, it’s pretty baffling. Titled “Cake Like Lady Gaga (Burqa Swag)” — take a second to absorb that parenthetical — it features the alleged Gaga chanting “Cake like Lady Gaga” over and over, in what sounds like an opiate haze, between boasts about how rich and famous she is and various dated hip-hop slang (“ice,” “swag,” “trick”).

Now, we know Gaga is trying do something with burqas these days, although we’re not sure what we’ve seen so far is anything but offensive. And it’s not like her bragging is any more egregious than certain Watch the Throne tracks; in fact, this seems less like a straight hip-hop song than a song about hip-hop songs, which certainly fits her meta-celebrity M.O. But there’s not too much in there to elevate “Cake Like Lady Gaga” above appropriation. If anything, between the burqas and the rapping, it looks as though she might be trying to steal M.I.A.’s schtick this time around. So, again, we’re hoping there’s some reasonable explanation for this — and if not, we’ve got major worries about next year’s ARTPOP. Listen below and tell us what you think.