15 of the Most Horrifying Holiday Decorations

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Untangle your holiday lights, slip into a cozy sweater, and dust off your menorah: it’s the time of year when people channel their inner Clark Griswold and go wild decorating their homes. We love to partake in some homey holiday cheer, but sometimes decorations go wrong. Very, very wrong. After spotting a hilariously weird DIY decor project on Laughing Squid, which we feature in our gallery past the break, we went exploring for other horrifying holiday decorations. The Internet did not disappoint. Click through to see our findings, and ponder along with us on why so many of them feature firearms and poop. Happy Holidays!

Tampon Nativity

Hilarious website Tampon Crafts offers DIY decorating ideas “for any time of the month.” Their tampon Nativity scene is a “fresh-scented, feminine” ode to the birth of Jesus. The tampons of choice for this “bloody good Christmas” project are O.B. and Playtex. They also have deranged DIY ideas for festive holiday lights and more. If you celebrate Hanukkah, fear not: they even have a tampon menorah that uses the strings of the tampons as candlewicks.

Jingle Bells Shotgun Shells Christmas Lights

Nothing says holiday cheer and ho-ho happy like a garland of glowing shotgun shells.

Bling Merman Ornament

Diamonds of the Sea creates aquatic and nautical themed collectibles — like this muscled merman covered in bling, obviously.

Jingle Balls

When the art of suggestion just isn’t enough.

(Almost) Idiot-Proof LED Hanukkah/Chanukah Menorah

A menorah that looks more like a sentient being from a Ridley Scott or David Cronenberg movie than a festive set of lights.

Snow Job Ornament

Has anyone written any Christmas fanfic about this kind of thing yet?

Jersey Shore 3-piece Ornament Set: The Situation, Snooki, and DJ Pauly D

If your holiday needs more six-pack abs, Day-Glo tan, and hair gel, then the Home Shopping Network has you covered.

Airblown® Inflatable Scene – Santa in Deer Stand

It’s bad enough that Santa has a gun and is stalking a bug-eyed reindeer, but jolly old Saint Nick has also recruited a penguin accomplice (in a blaze orange hunter’s hat, even) for this disturbing, inflatable yard ornament.

Hanukkah friends, there’s an 11-foot, pedobear-like inflatable in case Second Amendment Santa doesn’t meet your decorating needs. Ugh.

Mr. North Pole Ornament

Surely Peter North has something to say about this.

Pooping Rudolph Red Nose Reindeer Ornament

Our friends at Mashable spotted this delightful tree decoration. It definitely upstages Rudolph’s very shiny nose.

And if you’ve totally given up, buy this glittering pile of poop.

Meat Manor “Gingerbread” House

Leatherface-style, y’all. Don’t let this gingerbread house sit out all month long.

Krampus Squirrel Ornament

Krampus Squirrel can’t be killed with fire.

Alien Fetus Ornament

Etsy artist Strange Dolls (Beth Robinson) lives up to her name.

In other fetal bauble news, Miss Poppy has shut down her shop, but she used to produce these fetus soldier ornaments, which we spotted on Boing Boing. Miss Poppy’s hard sell? “What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship?”

Flowering Vulva Ball Ornament

Definitely from a Cronenberg movie.

Christmas Hamper

Forever alone in a cold, dark place.