It’s December, and you know what that means: it’s time for everyone — from your mom to your coworkers to every media outlet under the sun — to tell you what their favorite book was this year. There’s no escaping it, but at least you can use the information to totally stereotype whoever’s talking to you (or turn the lens on yourself). Click through to read our (tongue-in-cheek, mind you) breakdown of what your favorite book of the year says about you, and in case you were wondering, our pick is on here too, and hey, we can cop to it.
The Signal and the Noise , Nate Silver
People who miss the election.
Battleborn , Claire Vaye Watkins
Cult rubberneckers and Wild West fetishists.
Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore , Robin Sloan
Threats , Amelia Gray
The Age of Miracles , Karen Thompson Walker
The Casual Vacancy , J.K. Rowling
People who still have their fake plastic glasses from buying Harry Potter books at midnight.
I Am An Executioner , Rajesh Parameswaran
People who weren’t ever allowed to have pets.
Wild , Cheryl Strayed
Oprah, those who love her, and those who pretend not to love her but obviously do (everybody).
Gone Girl , Gillian Flynn
People who are secretly suspicious of everything.
Bring Up the Bodies , Hilary Mantel
1493: Uncovering the New World Columbus Created , Charles C. Mann
Enchantments , Kathryn Harrison
Romantics with a taste for blood.
HHhH , Laurent Binet
Manic Pixie Dream Boys you met in History class.
A Hologram for the King , Dave Eggers
People who think the world is doomed — but can laugh about it.
How Should a Person Be? , Sheila Heti
People who have no idea how to answer this question. Or just enjoy reading about blowjobs.
Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? , Jeanette Winterson
People who know exactly how to answer this question.
Telegraph Avenue , Michael Chabon
People nostalgic for times they never experienced.
This is How You Lose Her , Junot Díaz
Regretful repeat cheaters.
How Music Works , David Byrne
The self-consciously hip.
Arcadia , Lauren Groff
The Twelve , Justin Cronin
People who insist that The Walking Dead is highbrow.
The Wind Through the Keyhole , Stephen King
People who can just never let anything go.
The Fault in Our Stars , John Green
Grown-ups trying to be teenagers.
Fifty Shades Freed , E.L. James
Building Stories , Chris Ware
Adults who miss Legos.
Broken Harbor , Tana French
Thrill-seekers still trying to seem literary to their friends — barely.
The End of Men: And the Rise of Women , Hanna Rosin
Women who refer to their boyfriends as “the old man.”
Vagina: A Biography , Naomi Wolf
Women who refer to their vaginas as “the goddess.”
The Boy Kings of Texas: A Memoir , Domingo Martinez
Flight Behavior, Barbara Kingsolver
Moms who were part of Occupy Wall Street.