Steven Seagal’s Lawman Is Not a Joke


“The show is real. This is not a joke.”

Reality TV jumped the shark long ago, and amidst word that the OctoMom is in talks to produce a show about the life and times of her fourteen kids, we were pretty sure the genre was deader than Michael Richards’ career. Then A&E dropped this bomb. Steven Seagal: Lawman . At first glimpse, the show, which follows Deputy Seagal (yeah, that’s right, Deputy Seagal), as he patrols the mean streets of Jefferson Parish, Louisiana, comes off as the greatest SNL digital short of all time. In fact, the editing job is so superb that A&E felt the need to mention that the show is “real” twice in the first ten seconds.

And yeah, shit is real, as the action star, who shot a film in Jefferson Parish nearly twenty years ago, was asked to train local police officers in weapon skills. Of course, the training went extremely well, as you’d expect when you’ve got Mason Storm instructing you, and Seagal was subsequently “deputized,” which we didn’t even know was a word, and if we had to guess it’s definition would probably think it a combination of a lobotomy and castration. Seagal, a 7th degree akido master and self proclaimed “clairvoyant and healer,” literally roams the street with real police officers, kicking the ass of Louisiana’s most degenerate degenerates, which means a lot of ass kicking, because, well, it’s Louisiana, land of misfits.

The show, set to premier in December (only 3 months away!), is already making lifelong fans, including comedians Aziz Ansari and Rob Huebel, who collectively predict Steven Seagal: Lawman may be the best show of all time. It also got us thinking that since the Emmy Awards already honors Outstanding Reality-Competition programs, it may need to begin bestowing an award for excellence in an Unintentional Comedy series.