The Funniest and Meanest Things Bands Have Said About Their Fans

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Our friends at BuzzFeed recently exhumed the hilarious story of the Creed gig so disastrous that it led to the band’s fans filing a class action lawsuit against them for “failing to substantially perform.” The whole story is worth reading in a car-crash sort of way — the worst bit, though, was Stapp claiming the entire thing was the work of disgruntled fans who had tried to hit them up for free merch: “We gave them everything they asked for… The next thing we knew, there they were on TV, talking about their lawsuit.” Considering Stapp spent most of the show passed out on stage, we’re not sure he should be throwing stones here. Still, it’s not the worst thing a band has said about their fans. As a bit of lighthearted reading for a Wednesday afternoon, we’ve pulled together a bunch of other examples of bands teeing off on the people who ultimately pay their rent.

Maynard James Keenan

“For the most part, I have no idea who those people are, especially when we’re traveling through Europe. And it’s not all our fault; it’s a whole series of events. [You play] heavy music, and your record company, which has never owned an album anything like what you’re doing, immediately markets you to the obvious stinky kid with the dreadlocks and the B.O. and the urine on his shoes because he’s been sleeping in his own filth in a festival in the middle of the rain. They basically market right to that guy. And then you realize the only people showing up to your shows are those primates, these weird, cretin people.” [via]

Jack White

“Jesus Christ, is this an NPR convention?” asked White at Radio City Music Hall last year, shortly before cutting his show short after barely an hour on stage. [via]

Billy Corgan

“If I read anything from, let’s call it the ‘hardcore fanbase,’ they are stuck in ’93. It’s 17 years [later] and I don’t know what they expect to have happen. It’s sort of beautiful because what they are saying is, ‘You so touched me in that moment, I want more of that.’ But the thing that I find really insulting is there’s a deeper message there which is ‘You’ll never be better.’… Half of those fucking jerkos would have us playing all of Siamese Dream on this tour.” [via]

Lars Ulrich

“Metallica will carry on for the next 20 years. Whether you’re along for the ride or not, that’s your problem, not ours.” [via]

Andrew Eldritch, The Sisters of Mercy

“It’s disappointing that so many people have in all seriousness adopted just one of our many one-week-of-stupid-clothes benders. It’s currently disappointing that the rest of the nation is in all seriousness wearing those crappy ’70s clothes that we wore for a week in ’84 because we’d taken enough medication to find it funny. Well, OK, we wore crappy ’70s shirts for more than a week, but that’s because we kept taking the medication.” [via]

Adam Duritz

“Gee, did you ever wonder what it’s like to have a website filled with fans who love you and your work and are genuinely decent caring people? Me too.” [via]

Ghostface Killah

“Y’all motherfuckers are still downloading my shit [for free]. I thought y’all motherfuckers loved me… I go all out for y’all, but y’all niggas be hurting the kid, because you don’t want to go and cop our CD. Y’all rather download our shit… which is cool, whatever, but come on, we do this, we spend a lot of time in the studio to come out with no result when we drop our albums and shit. I’m asking y’all to go to the store and buy that.” [via]

Lou Reed

“Anyone who gets to side four is dumber than I am,” Reed once said about Metal Machine Music. [via]

Andy Falkous, Mclusky and Future of the Left

“Once you reach more that say 50 people, most of whom are unknown to you and your close friends, you can’t control who your music resonates with. The shows I went to when I was a kid – those shows were, generally speaking, bigger bands, because I had less fucking taste – most of the crowd were dicks. You’ve just gotta hope that the worst the dick is going to be is to be a little bit ostentatious and maybe wear a stupid hat.” [via]

Anton Newcombe, The Brian Jonestown Massacre

“You throw a fucking bottle at me, I’m gonna have you arrested or you’re gonna get your ass kicked. One way or another, you’re not getting away with that shit, because I don’t deserve it… Any fucker that does anything – they’re getting it. Because I’m just not interested in any bullshit,” said Newcombe in an interview with this writer.