Celebrate Kurt Cobain’s Birthday With the Weirdest Nirvana Merch on Etsy

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There are plenty of bands that inspire devotion in their fans, but only a select few for whom that devotion spills over into obsessive weirdness. Today would have been Kurt Cobain’s 46th birthday, and while Cobain himself is long dead, his image lives on — in fact, it’s more ubiquitous than ever, adorning T-shirts, posters, and other, more unusual objects the world over. Much of this stuff is produced by fans, and the advent of Etsy means that these fans have a platform for selling this stuff to the world at large — and boy, have they ever grasped the chance. In celebration of the man’s birthday, then, we’ve collected some of the cheesiest/kitschiest/most bewildering Cobain paraphernalia we could find — so if you’ve ever wanted Nirvana cuff links or matryoshka dolls, look no further.

Matryoshka dolls

Made in Russia “of linden wood and then painted by a professional matryoshka doll artist.” Includes one especially tasteful image of Kurt brandishing a rifle. In Soviet Russia, doll shoots you!

“27 Club” Kurt Cobain candle

“Since the early 90s, popular culture has increasingly mused about the ‘The 27 Club’ (a title given to the group of musicians whose lives were interrupted at the age of 27). Whether we believe in coincidence, numerology or nonsense, an unsolvable mystery seems to bind the lives and deaths of these enigmatic figures.” OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP IT.

Nevermind cuff links

For the sad-eyed 30-something who used to wear baggy shorts and an oversize T-shirt back in the ’90s and now runs a small accounting firm.

Bottlecap magnets

Demonstrate your undying devotion to the voice of a generation and one of the 20th century’s most enduringly famous musicians by… using his image to stick things to your fridge!

Kurt Cobain art doll

This is right up there with the Bowie dolls as far as freakish fan-made figurines go, although this is less terrifyingly realistic and more flat-out terrifying. A lifetime of visitors saying, “Jesus Christ what is that thing?!” for only $98!

Frances Farmer iPhone case

Behold: the ultimate disconnection of a consumer item from the meaning of the words it carries. We also can’t help but wonder what poor Frances Farmer might have made of the story of her strange and tragic career reaching its ultimate destination as an adornment on someone’s telephone.

Kurt Cobain skateboard, half thereof

Because who doesn’t want a broken skateboard adorned with a picture of Kurt Cobain shooting himself? Only one available!

Nevermind baby congratulations card

“Smells like dirty diapers.” Perfect for the aforementioned 30-something executive when he starts procreating. On an entirely unrelated note, have we mentioned recently how happy we are not to have children?

Art photo pendant

Also on the pendant front, here we have conclusive proof that combining a meme and a famous band name does not a work of art make. Also, there appears to be a word missing.

“Saint Cobain Googly Eye Magnet”

And finally… well, words fail us, really. “I don’t think he’s a saint, but he looks kinda saint-ly here. Perhaps it’s the eyes.” Perhaps it is. Perhaps it is.