When Kevin Smith cracked that the ending of Burton’s Planet of the Apes was plagiarized from one of his Jay and Silent Bob comic books, and that he was taking the director to court, Burton responded by insisting that he doesn’t read comic books, especially ones by Kevin Smith. The Clerks director responded that Burton’s confession “explains fucking Batman.” He later clarified that his initial remark was meant to be a joke, but at least he got the last (and best) word.
Rosie O’Donnell famously flipped her hair to one side and imitated The Donald after he wouldn’t fire Tara Connor, a troubled Miss America contestant in rehab, and Trump responded like a true sore loser: “Rosie will rue the words she said. I’ll most likely sue her for making those false statements – and it’ll be fun. Rosie’s a loser. A real loser. I look forward to taking lots of money from my nice fat little Rosie.“ Whoa, there. But Trump eventually redeemed himself a little by tweeting a “get well” message to O’Donnell after her recent heart attack. And he didn’t even blow up when she responded by jokingly inquiring whether he was trying to kill her!
If you haven’t read this New York Times review of Guy Fieri’s Times Square restaurant, you must right now. It’s scathing, but also completely outlandish, calling his margarita a “combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde” and observing that the “lunch-only sandwich of chopped soy-glazed pork with coleslaw and cucumbers — called a Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, resembles that item about as much as you resemble Emily Dickinson.” Harsh as it may be, it’s still a comedic piece — but Fieri didn’t seem to think so. In an interview after reading the article, he sounded incredibly pained, making accusations that the writer was exaggerating his disdain in a ploy for fame and only picking on Fieri because he’s not a New Yorker.
After Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre teased, “I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I don’t have crazy, reckless sex with strangers. If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed,” Charlie Sheen went absolutely nuts, calling him a “clown,” “stupid, stupid little man,” “pussy punk,” and even sprinkling in some anti-Semitism with the claim that Lorre’s real name is “Chaim Levine” (it isn’t.) Lorre, wisely, responded by expressing concern for Sheen’s health and overall safety.
The Catholic League launched an actual boycott of Jon Stewart when the Daily Show host made a high-concept religious joke that involved “vagina mangers.” Bill Donohue ordered all sponsors to pull ads from Comedy Central until Stewart issued a formal apology. He did, eventually, but said nothing more, because, well… how do you even begin to respond to that?
Seth MacFarlane reportedly received an angry phone call from Stewart after he was parodied on Family Guy for not shutting his show down during the 2007 Writer’s Guild of America strike. Stewart asked, “Who the hell made [him] the moral arbiter of Hollywood?” and the two “debated” for an hour on Piers Morgan Tonight. MacFarlane responded with (somewhat surprising) class, calling Stewart “an important voice in the sphere of rational thought” and “a very good debater.”
Jonah Hill claimed he was bullied by Glee’‘s Matthew Morrisson when he met the actor at a party. Supposedly, Morrison casually asked Hill to “stop talking for a second” and then made some unheard crack about him and laughed with Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford. Hill spilled the whole story to Jimmy Fallon, threatening that Matthew Morrison better watch out. Yikes.
Photo Credit: SoCal Glamour Girls
Michelle “Bombshell” McGee
Inked model Michelle “Bombshell” McGee launched low blow after low blow at Chelsea Handler when the comedian joked that McGee doesn’t read magazines because she basically has one tattooed on her forehead. McGee made jabs at Handler’s weight and clothing, also accusing her of being a transsexual; Handler refused to sink to McGee’s level, calling her a “dumb bitch” and then moving on.