PSFK reported today how the beta version of the Playstation 3 game, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, enables Twitter integration, allowing users to tweet their online status, victories, latest level, etc. Woohoo! In reaction to this failed use of Twitter technology, we created a list of appliances that would be better suited for Twitter integration.
@microwave this microwaved cheese sandwich is scrumptious, thanks microwave!
Most useful when you are nuking your food for long periods of time, microwave Twitter integration tweets you the status of your food. “Marshmallows explode when you microwave; stop me from microwaving this.” “Your hamburger will be soggy with radiation if you continue for another 3 minutes…come take it out now.” “Your son is microwaving his Power Rangers. This is awesome.”
@liquercabinet Find a way to refill yourself. And it’s pronounced Mo-HEE-toe. Not Mo-GEE-toe. Why couldn’t you just finish bar-tending school.
Liquor cabinet Twitter integration, arguably the least effective form of integration, serves as a means of anger ventilation. The liquor cabinet Twitter add-on is an LCD screen that displays a smiley face atop your cabinet. The less liquor you have, the angrier you get, the more annoyed tweets you twitter. The face decreases in visual happiness until you start to feel bad for it. Then, motivated by artificial guilt, you refill the cabinet again. Genius.
@television HBO on Demand, go!
Remotes are done. They are plastic artifacts. Get with the now. Tweet the channel you want to watch to your TV. The TV changes the channel. Use it to TiVo as well. Tweet at it to enable/disable parental control settings too. Hell. Yes.
@washingmachine are you done yet?
In order to improve human to washing machine relations, built-in washing machine Twitter accounts give automated replies to your anxious tweets. Think AOL’s “Smarter Child” during the good ‘ole AIM days. “I think that’s rather inappropriate. No, I would rather not do that with the cheese grater.”
@refrigerator You never want to talk anymore, all you every have to say is the stupid expiration dates! I just want to be friends.
Refrigerator Twitter integration is for the lonely souls out there. In addition to routinely telling you the expiration date of milk, eggs, yesterday’s Chinese food, etc. The refrigerator Twitter app prides itself on being able to replicate an actual relationship.