Monkey Banana Stand, $50 from Jtnee
Um. We’re pretty sure the line was “There’s always money in the banana stand,” not “monkey,” but anyway.
Game of Thrones-style prints, $6.95 from Piercing Silence
The Etsy equivalent of crossover fanfic, these prints — your choice of matte or gloss finish! — marry Arrested Development characters to Game of Thrones-style house crests. So long as this concept doesn’t extend to actual Game of Thrones/Arrested Development fanfic, the potential subject matter of which is frankly too disturbing to contemplate, we’re all for it.
Handmade “I Blue Myself” t-shirt, $12.64 from QueenVTees
Ability to levitate sold separately.
Nail polish, $9 from BigmouthLacquer
Also on the “I Blue Myself” front, this item is billed as “unique handmade nail polish inspired by Arrested Development.” And, well, yes, it is blue. Next week: red nail polish inspired by True Blood!
Banana stand box (small), $20 from Seasonofthegeek
OK, so, as far as we can gather, this is a box of… stuff. As per the listing, “this small mystery box will contain one to two of the Arrested Development-inspired fun items… [which] may include coffee mugs, Christmas ornaments, figurines, postcards, original art pieces, or other fun fan goodies. The fun of this listing is not knowing what you may get, though I do understand apprehension at paying for the unknown. I do not include any items that I wouldn’t be thrilled to get myself and I fill the box as much as possible to still safely ship.” If you’re feeling adventurous, it’s yours for $20.
“Hair bow or bow tie”, $8 from ShowtimeBowsByLouise
“Please let me know if I can customize it in any way in your order!”
Chicken dance print, $30 from sleepybowie
Everyone loves the chicken dance, but still, there’s something more than a little disconcerting about this “high quality print on archival watercolor paper,” which transplants the heads of various characters (specifically George, Gob, Lindsay, and Lucille) onto actual chicken bodies. The print’s designer proclaims proudly in the listing that “I’ve done the gob chicken dance a couple of times in public and never regretted it.” Hmmm.
Tobias Funke patch, $15.46 from LeighLaLovesYou
Meanwhile, this is just flat-out terrifying.
Mega fan mega mega combo set, $69.99 from HeartlessUniverse
Well, yes, 140 cardboard cut-outs of everything Arrested Development-related you could possibly imagine does probably justify repeated use of the word mega. “Includes all items from Gob’s Magic Kit, The Banana Stand Action Set, the Bluth Company Staircar, Motherboy XXX, Best Man for the Gob Party Kit, and The Cornballer Infomercial Set, plus the Michael Bluth Starter Kit for free!” Wooo!
Tobias Funke mug, $14.50 from tenthavenuemugworks
And finally, yes, we’re sure grandma will find this hilarious when she drops by for tea.