The Most Hilariously Bizarre ‘Arrested Development’ Merch on Etsy

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Arrested Development fans are busy counting down the hours until Season 4 premieres this Sunday at midnight on Netflix, and here at Flavorwire, we’re no different. So, we’re passing the time by declaring this Arrested Development Week, all leading up to a Recap-a-thon on Sunday, when our own Jason Bailey will review the whole season, episode by episode. Click here to follow our coverage.

Look, Flavorwire aren’t the only ones who are getting excited about the return of Arrested Development — to the surprise of absolutely no one, the good folk of Etsy have also been going batshit in the run-up to the premiere of Season Four on Netflix this Sunday. We’ve always been fascinated with the stuff that people make and sell to celebrate their cultural obsessions, so here’s a selection of the most weird and wonderful Arrested Development fan-made merch to be had.

Monkey Banana Stand, $50 from Jtnee

Um. We’re pretty sure the line was “There’s always money in the banana stand,” not “monkey,” but anyway.

Game of Thrones-style prints, $6.95 from Piercing Silence

The Etsy equivalent of crossover fanfic, these prints — your choice of matte or gloss finish! — marry Arrested Development characters to Game of Thrones-style house crests. So long as this concept doesn’t extend to actual Game of Thrones/Arrested Development fanfic, the potential subject matter of which is frankly too disturbing to contemplate, we’re all for it.

Handmade “I Blue Myself” t-shirt, $12.64 from QueenVTees

Ability to levitate sold separately.

Nail polish, $9 from BigmouthLacquer

Also on the “I Blue Myself” front, this item is billed as “unique handmade nail polish inspired by Arrested Development.” And, well, yes, it is blue. Next week: red nail polish inspired by True Blood!

Banana stand box (small), $20 from Seasonofthegeek

OK, so, as far as we can gather, this is a box of… stuff. As per the listing, “this small mystery box will contain one to two of the Arrested Development-inspired fun items… [which] may include coffee mugs, Christmas ornaments, figurines, postcards, original art pieces, or other fun fan goodies. The fun of this listing is not knowing what you may get, though I do understand apprehension at paying for the unknown. I do not include any items that I wouldn’t be thrilled to get myself and I fill the box as much as possible to still safely ship.” If you’re feeling adventurous, it’s yours for $20.

“Hair bow or bow tie”, $8 from ShowtimeBowsByLouise

“Please let me know if I can customize it in any way in your order!”

Chicken dance print, $30 from sleepybowie

Everyone loves the chicken dance, but still, there’s something more than a little disconcerting about this “high quality print on archival watercolor paper,” which transplants the heads of various characters (specifically George, Gob, Lindsay, and Lucille) onto actual chicken bodies. The print’s designer proclaims proudly in the listing that “I’ve done the gob chicken dance a couple of times in public and never regretted it.” Hmmm.

Tobias Funke patch, $15.46 from LeighLaLovesYou

Meanwhile, this is just flat-out terrifying.

Mega fan mega mega combo set, $69.99 from HeartlessUniverse

Well, yes, 140 cardboard cut-outs of everything Arrested Development-related you could possibly imagine does probably justify repeated use of the word mega. “Includes all items from Gob’s Magic Kit, The Banana Stand Action Set, the Bluth Company Staircar, Motherboy XXX, Best Man for the Gob Party Kit, and The Cornballer Infomercial Set, plus the Michael Bluth Starter Kit for free!” Wooo!

Tobias Funke mug, $14.50 from tenthavenuemugworks

And finally, yes, we’re sure grandma will find this hilarious when she drops by for tea.