A Selection of Celebrities Who Want You to Think They’re Illuminati

By
Share:

Alas, poor Ke$ha. She so desperately wants to be controversial. She recently released new single “Crazy Kids,” and apart from being possibly the actual worst song this side of “My Humps” — a pounding inanity of “I don’t give a fuck because I’m soooooo craaaaazzzzy” clichés, set to an identikit beat and consigned to the deepest circles of musical hell with an appearance from Musical Antichrist will.i.am — it comes with a video that sucks like a turbo-charged Dyson. The clip features Ke$ha’s best determinedly controversial Vanilla Ice-esque cultural appropriation — corn rows! grills! — and if that weren’t enough manufactured “edginess,” she’s also adorned her hand with the all-seeing eye of the Illuminati. It’s hard to imagine Jay-Z inviting her into the New World Order, but anyway, she’s not the first artist to court controversy by leveraging Illuminati symbology. Here are some others.

Rihanna (and Kanye West and Jay-Z)

The two-hand triangle is a favorite of Illuminati watchers, who claim it’s an allusion to Illuminati iconography — specifically the pyramid crowned by the all-seeing eye of Satan (the same pyramid on the back of the US dollar bill, since you’re asking).

LeBron James

Sadly, the New World Order didn’t stop him from fouling out this week against the Pacers.

Daft Punk

See, people, it’s a pyramid! See? See?!

Lady Gaga

The one-hand-covering-the-face thing is another favorite, apparently again evoking the single eye of Satan symbol. Clearly, photographs of celebrities covering one side of their face aren’t exactly hard to come by, which only goes to show that the Illuminati rule everything, right? Right?!

Lady Gaga, again

Also on the hand symbol front: the mark of the beast, because making a “6” with your fingers is clearly an allusion to “666.” First up: Lady Gaga, again, who is surely trolling these people by this point, given that she’s doing both the sign of the beast and the covering-her-face thing at the same damn time. (Or she’s an actual member of a devil-worshiping secret society, of course.) In either case, see here for many, many more examples of Gaga’s flirtation with Illuminati imagery.

Justin Bieber

Aw, no, not lil Justin too? Maybe this explains his behavior of late.

Emma Watson

Actually, when you think about it, it’s amazing that that the Illuminati-watchers haven’t made more of a fuss about Harry Potter, given its global success and its connotations of magic/witchcraft/etc. Still, you’ll be happy to know that the pose Emma Watson is striking here did not escape their notice.

Nicki Minaj

Next up: devil horns. You’ll be entirely unsurprised that a society devoted to devil worship doesn’t mind throwing the occasional devil horn symbol, as evidenced here by noted Illuminati luminary Nicki Minaj. Yes, people, you heard it here first: the world is secretly ruled by metalheads.

Céline Dion

This is the single best image we’ve come across on any Illuminati-watching website — apparently Céline Dion’s pose here is, again, an Illuminati allusion. We’ve always thought the devil was entirely responsible for Dion and her work, but even so… well, this seems like a stretch, unless you consider randomly drawing ellipses on photos of celebrities to be proof of a wide-ranging conspiracy.

Jay-Z

And finally, the Grand Panjandrum of them all: Jay-Z, who apparently rules the world. Or at least the Barclays Center.