Skins Makes Its Triumphant Return
For its final “season,” British teen drama Skins is actually releasing three two-part films about its most beloved characters. First up was Effy Stonem, who seems to have recovered nicely from all the mental-breakdown / boyfriend-getting-murdered drama of Season 4. She’s moved to London and taken a job as a secretary at a hedge fund, which seems majorly out of character, and splits an apartment with Naomi, who’s now an aspiring standup comedienne. We’ll forgive the inconsistency of the ever-independent Effy slaving away for some financial firm and express our relief that one of the most candid and well-written high school shows in history has turned its sights on life after graduation.
Mariah Goes All-American
The Fourth of July has never been the most tastefully executed of holidays, but joining ‘MERICA-chanting frat bros everywhere this year was diva of divas Mariah Carey. The singer joined Cher, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift in Macy’s all-American pop pantheon for yesterday’s festivities, and spent part of her performance reclining on several bales of hay to reiterate (unconvincingly) just how country she is. Then again, she’s Mariah Carey, so she can do whatever she wants and we’ll just have to deal with it.
Sarah Newlin Rises Again
Having Steve back for the last season or so was fun, sure, but we didn’t realize how much we missed the gay ex-minister vampire’s better half until she was right in front of us. Sarah’s done reasonably well since her husband died, came back to life, and came out of the closet, penning a best-selling memoir and making over her wardrobe from Preacher’s Wife to Sarah Palin on Crack. Still, she’s got a bone to pick with Steve, which is why she’s helping the governor of Louisiana launch an anti-vampire crusade, complete with the creepy research facility where Steve is now imprisoned. If True Blood really wants to go down the Nazi death camp road, at least Sarah gets to be this tactless plot line’s silver lining.
Debra Calls Out Dexter
We’ve all had our sibling-on-sibling arguments, but telling your brother you should have killed him instead of your boss kind of takes the cake. Thus is the state of Deb and Dexter Morgan’s shattered relationship as of Dexter‘s final season premiere. Shaken at shooting LaGuerta six months previously, Deb’s quit the police force, begun work for a PI, and also started doing a hell of a lot of drugs. But strangely, it just might be Dexter who’s in worse shape. He’s lashing out at everyone from innocent drivers to his own son, and after realizing that he needs Deb in his life much more than he thought, he won’t leave her alone to self-destruct in peace. Better get your act together, Dex: you’ve only got 12 more episodes to patch things up.
Seth Meyers Gets Engaged
It’s not technically on TV, but Seth Meyers is one of our favorite people on television, so we’re taking this space to give the soon-to-be-newlywed couple a shout out.