Etsy boasts some talented crafters, but it’s no secret that the e-commerce website is loaded with horrible, no good, very bad items. Halloween seems to bring out the handmade maven in everyone, which is why we felt compelled to highlight a few of the ridiculous and awkward costume options available on Etsy during this year’s spooky season. (Thanks for being a good sport, Etsy-ers.) For more DIY meets WTF meets Halloween, venture forth to peek at 20 of the worst costumes on Etsy.
Ed Gein or Walter White?
Heroes in a half shell… in a tutu. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans will need extra pizza to tackle this costume from seller elizabethbiehl.
We don’t want to know what’s underneath this Fart Man cape.
In case you like your Sriracha sauce on the “slutty” side, seller iheartanalogue has you covered.
Full-body pony suits are always slightly terrifying and seriously weird. Seller SincereCostumes has one if you’re feeling adventurous.
Voguecraze’s googly Kanye getup is the perfect costume for the dad joke enthusiast in your life.
For a pop culture-inspired costume that passed its expiration date long ago, turn to GrannySmithApparel.
ShoresofTexas will be your personal Halloween costume shopper for only $5 — provided you’re ok with potentially being an inflatable sex doll for this year’s office party.
Leather horse nightmares by seller LovelyLiddy.
Wear these Katy Perry-inspired dessert bras if you want to make enemies.
For the Halloween partygoer who wants everyone to know they were a mistake, we give you the broken condom cap (adult and newborn sizes available, eep).
This listing is for the dreadful, glittery Batman body sticker, but seller SasswearShop recommends adding light-up pasties to complete the costume. Please don’t.
Clowns are scary. Vintage clown costumes with compartments for your junk are even scarier.
We’re not sure what’s worse: this Lady Gaga-inspired lobster hat, or the fact that this listing is to purchase a PDF on how to make the awful lobster hat.
A Pepto pink Hello Kitty lolita pirate costume.
A costume sure to inspire rage. Buy shaileeboutique’s Candy Crush dress if you yearn for a slow and painful death by Lollipop Hammer.
Nyan Cat onesie diaper.
A Sharknado hat for kitty, who already hates you so why stop now.
In case you want to spend Halloween being vilified, slut-shamed, and body-shamed.