Kate, Dave, Michael, and Lindsay: These Are Their Stories

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It’s being reported that Law & Order will be doing an episode inspired by America’s favorite dysfunctional family, the Gosselins. This sure-to-be very special L&O comes closely on the heels of the episode inspired by our favorite indie-bandit the Hipster Grifter, and that got us thinking: Despite the warning before every episode that says that all stories on Law & Order are fictional, anyone with half a brain and a working TV-set knows that they are in fact “ripped from the headlines!” So, we thought we’d give the kids over at NBC a break and suggest a few stories (complete with the twist!) that might work really well for upcoming episodes after the jump. We know the job isn’t easy, so, you’re welcome.

1. Sex, Lies and the “Late Show.” A staffer at a late-night talk show is found brutally murdered on the closed set. Twist: the victim was turns out to be the gay lover of the Letterman-based TV host who was in cahoots with his blackmailer to split the extortion money after he agreed to keep the gay affair a secret in exchange for telling the cops the victim was the one blackmailing him. All to keep his gay-love a secret! It’s “Rope” meets Letterman! It’s fabulous

2. Michael Jackson’s death. Too soon? We thought that too, but since that’s never stopped L&O before so here it goes: a former pop star with a history of erratic behavior is found dead on the eve of his comeback tour. Twist: Though we suspect his personal doctor at first, the murderer turns out to be Paul McCartney. That’ll show you never to mess with a Beatle and his musical catalog.

3. Mommie Dearest. A former-actress/current-tabloid whore is hired to work for a prestigious fashion house only to be found dead on the runway a week before her line makes its debut. Twist: Her stage-mom did it to draw press to her new shoe line. She’s then tried in a double-homicide, having killed both her daughter and classic good taste in the process.