This week’s text exchange with my pal:
Her: Did you know that in the ’70s, pre-mustache, Sam Elliott was, like, really hot?
Me: I’m googling.
Her: Do it! I’m watching this old movie and can barely get over it.
Young Daniel Day-Lewis much? Clearly we hadn’t watched the 1979 movie Frogs — an eco-horror tale about evil amphibians.
The baby-faced Charlie Chaplin wasn’t fond of his look for his big film debut, so he changed his appearance. The new getup became essential in shaping his “Tramp” character:
“I wanted everything to be a contradiction: the pants baggy, the coat tight, the hat small and the shoes large… I added a small mustache, which, I reasoned, would add age without hiding my expression. I had no idea of the character. But the moment I was dressed, the clothes and the makeup made me feel the person he was. I began to know him, and by the time I walked on stage he was fully born.”
Groucho Marx needs one of his own plastic-nosed disguises in this surreal photo of the comedian without his stache.
The magic of Colt 45 only works when Billy Dee Williams’ mustache is present.
The nearly 4,000 Facebook fans who like Burt Reynolds’ mustache dislike this photo very much.
Young Alex Trebek channeling Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
Clark Gable’s mustache doesn’t give a damn about this clean-shaven photo of the actor.
And here we thought Chuck Norris was born with facial hair.
Was it the maple and brown sugar oatmeal that gave the gruff Wilford Brimley “diabeetus,” or was it his mustache?
The circle of life is broken when there’s no Hall & Oates or mustache & Oates.
Known for playing western film baddies, Lee Van Cleef proved with this film still from Kansas City Confidential that he didn’t need a mustache to lend a sinister quality to his characters — but we really love him with one.
An excerpt from Nick Offerman’s mustache manifesto:
“A mustache carries with it a little bit of derring-do. You’re the kind of guy who will come barreling up doing a power slide in your pickup truck and then give a girl a wink. You know your knots. You know what to do with beef tallow.”
Mr. T pities the fool without facial hair.
The gentleman of horror cinema, Vincent Price, looked most debonair with a pencil mustache.
This kitten would like to apologize for this provocative Fred Williamson photograph from the actor’s Playgirl days. He’s so naked without that manly mustache.
Jimi Hendrix arrived in England in 1966, with nary a mustache in sight.
Here’s a photo of David Crosby without his bushy mustache, just after he was released from prison in the 1980s. It feels like staring into the sun or finding out there isn’t a Santa Claus.
MSN first spotted this image of Hulk Hogan without his giant biker stache, and we’re still doing a double take over it. Young(er) Hulk looks like the poor man’s Fabio, no?
Even without his epic mustache, Freddie Mercury’s upper lip is more mind-blowing than yours.