Just Let Us Have This Michael Bay “Meltdown” Schadenfreude, OK?

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So Samsung had an event at the big Consumer Electronics Show yesterday, and its centerpiece was the unveiling of their new “curved” television. To help introduce it, they engaged about the only celebrity appropriate for such a stupid, vapid bit of innovation: Transformers director Michael Bay. It didn’t go so well!

Here’s what happened, according to Mr. Bay’s blog:

I got so excited to talk, that I skipped over the Exec VP’s intro line and then the teleprompter got lost. Then the prompter went up and down – then I walked off. I guess live shows aren’t my thing.

Yes, as more than one wise soul on Twitter quipped, for the first time in his life, the script mattered to Michael Bay.

Luckily, there was a camera there to record the entire awkward affair:

It’s hard to pick my favorite part, but I’m gonna go with the Samsung suit’s OK-fuck-it “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s thank Michael Bay for joining us” at the very end, and the bewildered smattering of applause that follows it.

Look, Michael Bay’s not an actor, and a fair number of his defenders have popped up in the hours since this video appeared to defend him on those grounds. But it’s not just that he blew a public speaking appearance — it’s that when he had to go off script, he couldn’t even put together a complete sentence about what he does for a living (“What I try to do, as a director, I try to…”). Though, to be fair, it’s probably tough to form a cogent explanation of “vroom vroom bang bang dolly dolly.”

I guess it’s possible to feel bad for Mr. Bay, but why bother? He’s the purveyor of the worst kind of cinematic garbage, and his vile, leering, brainless pap represents mainstream filmmaking at its absolute nadir — and year after year, he’s rewarded (handsomely!) for doing so. Also, if you need any more reason to loathe him, here’s the sign-off to his explanatory blog post:

But I’m doing a special curved screen experience with Samsung and Transformers 4 footage that will be traveling around the world.

Yep, in case your forgot, he made a fourth Transformers movie. So just let me point and laugh while I can, in the name of all that is holy.