Slightly more interesting: Zoe-Taissa tries to cast a spell with aid of bathtub to find out what happened to Nan. A much-recovered-looking FrankenKyle looks on. He even seems to have discovered hair product. It turns out he no longer wants to sleep with Madison-Emma, because he’s in love with Zoe-Taissa. Madison-Emma throws a fit, which gives Myrtle her cue to burst onto the scene, and tell Madison-Emma she’s a cliché, “a bobblehead with crotchless panties.” To which Madison-Emma replies: “You’re a dried up old hot-pocket, but I don’t judge.” (At least the insults on the show are still lively.) Madison-Emma resolves to take her revenge, and storms out.
Myrtle tries to encourage Zoe-Taissa to leave Miss Robichaux’s with Kyle, and never come back. Myrtle does this by detailing her own affair with a von Furstenberg, as in Diane von Furstenberg, and then rhapsodizes about the invention of the wrap dress. Zoe-Taissa finds this convincing for some reason and plans to go. Though FrankenKyle resists at first they ultimately find themselves running through a bus depot to cheap techno music, as one does. And they’re off!
So, given that things are pretty quiet, Delphine starts carving up the gardener for fun, hiding him in Spalding’s old attic apartment-thing. The gardener, needless to say, is black. She plays “this little piggy” in selecting a toe to cut off. Did we mention that Delphine is an evil racist who hates black people? The show just wants to be clear on that one point. Eventually she runs into the ghost of Spalding up in the attic, though not before she’s pretty much killed the gardener. He tells Delphine he’s been watching her, that she lives a life without purpose. And he also tells her he knows how to end her curse of immortal life. He also says he can help her kill Marie. As payment, he wants a particular doll for his collection, which she promptly procures.
Meanwhile, Fiona hangs out with the Axeman while he plays Jazz (I feel he would capitalize the word Jazz, so I do it here) before going with Marie to meet with the Delphi Trust men in suits. The Delphi Trust guys have drawn up a contract in which they agree to give up the fight for a hundred years. Fiona and Marie have other demands, including a cessation of hostilities for all time. Then, the Axeman, who happens to be in the room, hacks all the Delphi Trust men to death. Oh, sorry, to be precise: and shoots one of them.
The only one left alive is Hank’s father. He says, “You know, killing us is not gonna end this war.” But Marie says it’ll be fun anyway. Then Fiona axes him in the next. Marie takes an iPhone photo. Not a selfie, though. Then they celebrate with champagne in the gothic Nancy Meyers kitchen at home. Fiona goes out alone, leaving Marie alone with a clearly scheming Delphine. Kathy Bates brings out her best Misery bitchface for the occasion. It’s rather wonderful, to be honest.
First, she lets Marie get drunker and drunker on the champagne. Then she stabs Marie with a giant butcher knife. Marie chases Delphine out to the stairs, where Spalding clubs her with the doll. He reveals Marie’s still immortal, and won’t die. But he also tells Delphine was she must do is bury Marie somewhere she can’t get out. Then there’s creepy stuff with Spalding and the baby Marie stole from that hospital ward. Creepy stuff involving matching bonnets.