Imagine Axel Rose trying to put a baby to sleep. It’s just not possible. Rockabye Baby, however, has found a solution: removing the Axel factor and recreating the classic Guns ‘n Roses album, Appetite for Destruction, with lullaby instruments. According to Rockabye’s website, here’s how it’s done: “Guitars and drums are traded for soothing mellotrons, vibraphones and bells, and the volume is turned down from an eleven to a two. Rockabye Baby!” Rockabye, indeed. Preview some of the lullafied tracks after the jump.
Mr. Brownstone: Sometimes children have trouble pooping. This song teaches children to confront the stubborn turd that is Mr. Brownstone, giving them the confidence to conquer indigestion one potty trainer at a time.
Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door: All binkys eventually move on to the afterlife. Help your children overcome post-pacifier depression.
Don’t Cry: The message is clear. Stop crying, mommy is watching Oprah.
Welcome to the Jungle: This track isn’t appropriate for any child, ever. Maybe if you think your child would be a Slytherin, but that’s it. Does anyone recall the lyric, “Welcome to the jungle/Feel my, my, my serpentine/I, I wanna hear you scream!”