The Max Fischer Players Theater Festival
Once a year (with the generous sponsorship of Blume International), renowned theatrical director Max Fischer presents a three-day festival of new plays. Matinee and evening performances are accompanied by daytime workshops in the arts of fencing, kite-flying, lacrosse, calligraphy, kung fu, bombardment, trap and skeet, stamp collecting, and beekeeping. This year’s program includes Mr. Fischer’s new stage adaptations of the popular films Gravity, The Wolf of Wall Street, Captain Phillips, and The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Cost: $50/day pass, $175/all-access pass (including admission to closing night dance).
Royal Tenenbaum’s New York
Participants meet at the Tenenbaum house on Archer Avenue for a full access tour of the estate, including visits to Chazz’s first office, Margot’s writing room, Richie’s trophy case, and Mordecai’s cages, as well as an hour of “free time” for board game play. From there, head over to the Lindberg Palace Hotel, and then out for an afternoon of “mixing it up,” riding horses, racing go-karts, playing in traffic, and stealing chocolate milk. After that, hop on the back of a garbage truck and ride it all the way uptown to the 375th Street Y, and finish up the day with a dip in the indoor pool. Cost: $75 (swimming trunks not included).
The Hunt for the Great Jaguar Shark
Don a “Team Zissou” red knit cap and head out to see for a full tour of the world famous Belafonte. Then trek down to the ocean deep in Steve Zissou’s mini-sub to track and (maybe, but probably not) kill the elusive, mysterious, killer “Jaguar Shark.” Cost: $15,000, but, y’know, negotiable.
The Boggis, Bunce, and Bean Tour
Enjoy this behind-the-scenes peek at the poultry and fruit factories of Walt Boggis, Nate Bunce, and Frank Bean. Learn how their delicious products are produced, and marvel at their new, foolproof anti-fox-theft technology. And enjoy a catered lunch of chickens smothered with dumplings and homemade donuts with goose liver injections, washed down with a tall glass of alcoholic apple cider. Tour: Free; Lunch: $30/person.
Visit India on The Darjeeling Limited
Well, come on, this is one is sort of a no-brainer. See the Republic of India from the famous train, with frequent stops for shopping, meditation, and personal reflection. Itineraries to be determined daily and distributed on tiny laminates. Cost: $8,000.
The Bottle Rocket Suite
Visitors to the Days Inn in Hillsboro, Texas can request Room 212, a perfect location for going “on the lam” after bookstore heists and romancing maids. Cost: $35/night. (Never mind: you can actually do this one.)