The Most Hilariously Cringe-Inducing Romantic Dialogue in Movie History

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This month marks the 25th anniversary of the release of Road House, and you’ll forgive us for not giving it the full-on celebratory treatment of Heathers or Say Anything — mainly because Road House is a terrible, terrible movie. But it’s also endlessly entertaining, one of the best good-bad movies of the 1980s (a decade that was lousy with them). But whenever this viewer thinks of Road House, it’s for one line: “You’re gonna be my regular Saturday-night thing, baby!” And in the spirit of that promise, this seemed as good a time as any to round up some of the cheesiest, corniest, and all-around cringe-inducing “romantic” lines from all of moviedom.

Plan Nine from Outer Space (1959)

Paula Trent: Be careful. Don’t worry about me.

Jeff Trent: Aw, you’re the only thing I do worry about! Forget about the flying saucers! They’re up there! But there’s something in that cemetery — and that’s too close for comfort.

Paula Trent: The saucers are up there (points), and the cemetery’s out there (points). But I’ll be locked up in there (points to her bedroom). Now, off to your wild blue yonders.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)

Anakin: I look forward to seeing Naboo again. I’ve thought about it every day since I left. It’s by far the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen…

Padmé: You were just a little boy then. It may not be as you remember it; time changes your perception.

Anakin: I think time has given me much more mature feelings to enhance my perception.

Padmé: It must be difficult having sworn your life to the Jedi… not being able to visit the places you like… or do the things you like…

Anakin: Or be with the people I love.

North West Mounted Police (1940)

Ronnie Logan: You’re the sweetest poison that ever got into a man’s blood! I love you! I want you!… Listen, you little wildcat, you’re the only real thing that’s ever happened to me. And nobody — nothing — could ever make me let you go!

Louvette Corbeau: Oh, I love you so terrible bad I feel good! My heart sings like a bird!

Notting Hill (1999)

William: I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are, my mother has trouble remembering my name.

Anna Scott: I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

Charles: There I was, standing there in the church, and for the first time in my whole life I realised I totally and utterly loved one person. And it wasn’t the person next to me in the veil. It’s the person standing opposite me now… in the rain.

Carrie: Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed.

The Ten Commandments (1956)

Nefretiri: Oh, Moses! Moses! You stubborn, splendid adorable old fool! (they embrace)

Moses: I’m not kneeling to a princess!

Nefretiri: No. You’re kneeling to a woman!… If you want to help your people, come back to the palace. Oh, Moses! The gods have fashioned you for greatness!… When you are Pharoah, you can free your people, worship whatever gods you please, so long as I can worship you! (they kiss).

City of Angels (1998)

Maggie Rice: Do you feel that?

Seth: Yes.

Maggie Rice: And that? How’s it feel? Tell me what it feels like.

Seth: I can’t.

Maggie Rice: Try.

Seth: Warm. Aching.

Maggie Rice: It’s OK. We fit together.

Seth: I know.

Maggie Rice: We were made to fit together.

The Conqueror (1956)

Princess Bortai: For me, there is no peace while you live, Mongrel!

Genghis Khan: Say… you’re beautiful in your wrath!

Claws (1977)

Jason: Are you happy?

Chris: A little.

Jason: Just a little?

Chris: A whole lot. And then a heap more.

Jason: You and me, baby! Forever and overtime! (They embrace.)

Gigli (2003)

Ricki: It’s turkey time.

Larry Gigli: Huh?

Ricki: Gobble, gobble.

Sin City (2005)

Dwight: The Fire, baby. It’ll burn us both. It’ll kill us both. There’s no place in this world for our kind of fire. My warrior woman. My Valkyrie. You’ll always be mine. Always… and never.

The Oscar (1966)

Kay Bergdahl: Sometimes we do go well together, don’t we?

Frank Fane: I go better with you than any other girl I know… woman I know. Which are you, Kay? Girl or woman?

Kay Bergdahl: I’d like to think that I’m a woman, Frankie.

Frank Fane: Woman! Spend the night with me at Rosarita Beach! I think I’m in love with you!

Kay Bergdahl: Oh, Frankie, I want to go with you to Rosarita. I want to — I do.

Frank Fane: Marry me, Kay. Marry me — tonight!

The Swarm (1978)

Clarence: Maureen, how long have we known each other? About thirty years? All that time, have you ever heard me beg? Maureen, I’m willing to beg now. I want you to marry me. I know people look at me and think that I’m just the man behind the aspirin counter, but inside I love you.

Maureen: How lucky I am!

A Good Year (2006)

Max: Pardon my lips. They find joy in the most unusual places.

And, of course…

Top Gun (1986)

Iceman: You can be my wingman any time.

Maverick: Bullshit! You can be mine.