The wild goose chase that follows is mildly entertaining, what with the shrimp at Pierre’s and a “sorry not sorry” joke from the detective. But the build-up to save Bob and Mr. Fischoeder starts to wear thin, since we know they have to survive — or at least Bob does. The kids steamroll right over Linda, who gets outwardly verklempt at the drop of penny despite having the capacity to handle the situation. But Bob and her together? A duo whose dynamism is just being revealed. This last point is crucial as we get into the business of saving Bob.
Felix starts to have regrets, and his nervousness reveals him (“you don’t know how moist I usually am!”). Linda and the kids follow him down under the wharf, where they head towards Bob and Mr. Fischoeder in cutesy animal pedal boats. And to think they sang “oh bad things are bad” when a resolution was so easily in sight. It seems as though this will wrap up with a big shiny bow until here comes a gun and Fanny, aka Felix’s gold-digging girlfriend, Miss Look At My Tits, aka Jordan Peele doing his best Becky impersonation. It’s “her time” — she needs Wonder Wharf demolished in order to get her nightclub and her recording studio, and she knows Mr. Fischoeder stands in her way. As for the Belchers, they’ll have to die too, just for the hell of it.
(Paige Garrison, Hector Reynoso, and Anthony Aguinaldo, via Behind Bob’s Burgers)
Here’s the thing about dumb bitches: they’re distracted easily. Bob asks to hear one of Fanny’s songs before they all die. “Mr. Dancefloor” brings Fanny’s full-body devotion, so much so that she doesn’t notice Linda ramming a turtle pedal boat into the weak support beam under the wharf, which Fanny had shot mere moments earlier. While Fanny’s mid-song, the wharf starts to cave in, hitting her boat and shooting her into the water, never to be seen after the cops haul her sparkly ass off. (As great as Jordan Peele was in the role, this was the most annoying murder plot showdown I’ve ever seen on TV. The grating sound of her voice made it seem like it went on for 20 minutes.)
The rest survive, because they have to. There’s no Bob’s Burgers without Bob, though a Linda spin-off about drinking a bottle of wine and eating croutons in bed would be entertaining for an episode or two. As Mr. Fischoeder said, “Thank God we live in a time where women can learn to swim.”