Nicki Minaj and her team deserve a Clio Award for the ad they just made for asses. But the “Anaconda” video also serves as an advertisement for many other products, some of them officially linked with Minaj and others that may signal new deals. Let’s delve in.
What Is This?: A diet drink people use to “teatox,” i.e., consume nothing but tea as meal replacements.
How On-Brand Is This? (scale of 1-10): 1. Nicki’s in a gym, but as she says herself, she ain’t missing no meals. An anthem of empowerment for “big, fat-ass bitches” may not be the best fit for a diet product.
Fun Fact: MateFit is an official sponsor of the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Nicki name-drops Floyd Mayweather in “Anaconda.” He is definitely not part of the UFC, but then again, I can’t think of a song that calls out a UFC fighter.
What Is This?: A portable speaker from Beats by Dre, whose presence seems super random if you’re not familiar with Nicki’s Beats involvement.
How On-Brand Is This? (scale of 1-10): 9. Nicki launched her own line of Pink Friday Beats by Dre products in 2013. Dr. Dre and pink shit and music — the only way this could get more Minaj is if it were renamed “Beats Pill (and Potions).”
What Is This?: The Angel by Victoria’s Secret Sports Bra in the color “Hello Lovely.”
How On-Brand Is This? (scale of 1-10): 7. Nicki doesn’t have an official Victoria’s Secret endorsement deal or anything, but she did perform at the VS Fashion Show in 2011, so it seems safe to consider her a friend of the brand. Also, it’s pink, and Nicki has boobs, so yeah, good fit (both the bra on Nicki and its presence in the video).
What Is This?: Myx Fusions Moscato, the new twist on Nicki’s own Myx brand of Moscato wine. I had it once as a joke. It was kinda rough.
How On-Brand Is This? (scale of 1-10): 10. This is Nicki’s brand. Fuck subtlety, get money. Bonus points for reuniting Drake with his favorite drank.
Air Jordans (and blue balls)
What Is This?: There are three different types of Air Jordans in the “Anaconda” video, including the ones Drake is wearing, an unreleased style of Air Jordan 3. Nicki and her dancers wear Air Jordan 6s in a color called Game Royal, the same sneakers she wears on the “Anaconda” cover art.
How On-Brand Is This? (scale of 1-10): 8. Rappers and Air Jordans. Shrug. The Game Royal ones have pink in ’em too. Cuuuuute.
Side note: Why doesn’t Nicki have her own Air Jordan?
What Is This?: This is fruit. You eat it, sometimes for health and sometimes to look sexy. There’s a lot of fruit in the “Anaconda” video. Can’t tell if Wayne urged Nicki to ink a lucrative deal with the Dole company or the Fruit Farmers’ Commission (that’s a thing, I think?), or if bananas just make people think of dicks and Nicki knows that.
How On-Brand Is This? (scale of 1-10): 5???