SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS if…
– Ariana Grande inserts a vocal run in a song where there previously wasn’t one. Extra shot if she does it dressed in a vinyl skirt or heinous white knee-high boots.
– 5 Seconds of Summer make you say, “When did 1D enter their blink-182 phase?”
– Charli XCX wears something from Spice World.
– Taylor Swift wears white on the red carpet.
– Someone in your viewing party says “who?” when Rita Ora performs with Iggy.
– Jessie J over-sings and/or tries to out-pop-star Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj, ultimately failing. (Related: Jessie J, GTFO.)
– Someone addresses the fact that Jason Derulo used to sing his name.
– Eminem terrifies you with the look of rage in his eyes.
– Anyone uses the VMA stage to repeatedly pimp their album drop date. Drink the whole bottle if it’s A$AP Ferg, again.
GET DRUNK ON THE MINI-BAR if…
– Any white person twerks, or you feel uncertain about whether or not something is racially insensitive.
– Sia wins Video of the Year (for “Chandelier”) and manages to accept the award without showing her face.
– Nicki shades anyone. Double-fist if it’s Iggy-Iggs.
– Drake doesn’t come out for Nicki’s “Anaconda” performance. Those two crazy kids belong together!
– Taylor Swift appears to be having a better time than anyone else, until you spot a glimpse of fear behind her eyes when she wonders if Kanye’s there. Kim’s presenting soooo…
– Your mind lingers to what Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone are doing now, one year after the 45-second *NSYNC reunion. Sigh.