Let’s give it up for Jon Stewart and the team over at The Daily Show for going viral twice in the same day. Well, the Redskins bit was maybe more vile than viral, but this one — this one is definitely viral, thanks to the innumerable tweens who will overreact to anything remotely negative about One Direction, even if it’s just a throwaway line at the end of a three-minute segment that suggests “a member” of One Direction is joining a new terrorist supergroup.
It’s a pretty safe bet that the writers over at The Daily Show were not singling out Zayn Malik, who happens to be Muslim, but were rather commenting on the hysterical insanity that characterizes a vocal minority of One Direction fans. The show’s intentions are not being taken into account — and why should they be! — and fans are dead-set on forcing The Daily Show into issuing an apology for something they didn’t do. Chances are this will blow over in 24 hours, but thank god this guy chose to devote his life to hating the Kardashians rather than One Direction, or else his funeral might be getting egged.
Then again, it’s easier to hate on the ultra-wealthy than barely grown pop stars, yeah? Yeah, it is. Especially when they are part of the .00003 — that is, the wealthiest people in the world. New York Magazine’s look at how the representative American billionaire lives is just a great way to end your soul-crushing workweek, during which said billionaire probably made enough money to buy your whole family, just for fun. According to that article, the “princelings” are coming, which sounds so great, like something from Game of Thrones, little rich whippersnappers equipped with swords forged from dollar bills, imbued with the molten gold of the teeth from their great-great-great-grandparents’ servants.
They would probably have competitive animals, too, and people they pay to hold them. Slate has a photo set from Toby Coulson that offers a glimpse into our perilous future, with oversized animals and the septuagenarians who are tasked with holding them. For now, though, as we await our cold, dismal future — overrun with princelings and oversized animals — let’s just look at more cute animals. Yeah, that feels nice. TGIF, everybody. TGIF.